On a Park Bench in March bywrite4food©

"It's still there," I muttered under my breath as I walked towards the small park. Unconsciously I picked up my pace a bit when I saw it unoccupied and I couldn't help feeling a small surge of happiness to see it that way. Stopping a few feet away, I took in the sight. It seemed to be just sitting there forlornly, maybe waiting for me, I mused. Just a plain park bench, perched on the edge of the vast Atlantic Ocean.

I took a few seconds to look around before I sat down, but it appeared nothing had really changed, but then again, memory can surely be a fickle thing. I settled in to my seat and stretched my arms along the back. I felt the smooth edge of the backrest beneath my hands, it was obvious that the years and the elements had combined to wear the once sharp concrete edges into a pleasing smoothness. Looking out into the ocean, I saw a few people enjoying the beautiful day, some sailing, surfing or boating, but not much swimming going on in this area.

But it was hearing the waves as they broke onto the rocky shore that was the subtle reminder of why I picked this spot. Looking up and down the coast a couple hundred yards, I saw a small section of rocky shore in both directions. Those rocks are why this was a small park, with a few scattered benches, instead of the sandy beaches preferred by the partiers that invaded Florida during the annual spring break season. I needed the quiet solitude that this spot provided; yes, I so needed it now as I so needed it then.

That thought turned my attention to why I was here and it brought my mind back to the purpose of this trip. Ten years, I thought, yes ten years ago this very day I sat on this very bench, my mind cluttered and full of the same thoughts that were swirling inside my head now. No, that really wasn't right I realized, as I completed a bit of self-analysis. It was this very day and it was this very bench, but the thought then was fear, now unfortunately, it was regret.

Which is more powerful I pondered, my mind taking the flight of fancy that one's does when you sit in a spot such as this, gazing out into the vastness of the ocean. Fear is strong I reasoned, but for the most part short, sometimes momentary, sometimes longer, but eventually what you fear either happens or doesn't, and then it's done. Maybe you go on to the next bout of fear or maybe the fear was real and what you feared occurred, but either way the fear you had is gone.

Ah, but regret, now that is another thing entirely, and with that epiphany I couldn't help but feel myself let out a deep and mournful sigh. While fear can be a knife that quickly jabs you in the gut, regret is a deep and constant ache that never seems to go away. Well maybe, I thought, staring out into the water, it will go away. As yes, it has lessened a bit in the last couple of years, but go away, no, not yet. Not yet and especially not now sitting on this very bench on this very spot, exactly to the day, ten years gone. No it won't fade, not as long as this bench sits here; and by the looks of its impressive concrete construction it will probably outlive me, me I think, me ... and my regret.

"Why can't I just let it go?" I said out loud, surprising myself with my sudden outburst.

I quickly spun my head around and looked to make sure there were no passersby who might have heard me talking to myself. I guess I really didn't care, wasn't anybody here I knew, but I guess human nature is such that you really don't want to be seen sitting alone talking to yourself. But I looked, and there was no one around; but yet there was a tiny stab of disappointment in that fact. It occurred to me that maybe, just maybe she would come back too. I silently scoffed at the notion, I'm sure she has the life she wanted. The life she choose; when she choose him over me.

I shook my head a bit, trying to get rid of that thought, though it never really worked well. Especially considering that ten years ago, this very day, I was sitting on this very bench and she sat down beside me.

Ten years ago, peering out to sea, I was so focused on my thoughts that my eye barely caught the flicker of movement by my side. If I could have foreseen the end result of what was such an insignificant moment, that small act of someone sitting down on this very bench, I would have gotten up and walked away. But I didn't, and because I didn't, that failure to stand up and walk away would start a chain of events that would cause me to sit here today with regret burning deep in my soul.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you, you seem so deep in thought," the intruder said softly that day ten years ago, as she stood back up.

At her voice, I was shaken from my musings. "No, that's okay, just scared is all." I replied, shocking myself that I had expressed my fear out loud to someone who was interrupting my deep contemplations.

"Oh God! I thought I was the only one!" She exclaimed as she plopped back down on the seat.

"What?" I replied as I turned towards her. It was just a quick glance but it struck me that her eyes were dull and lifeless and I saw some deep apprehension in them.

"I was so sure that I was the only one scared out of my wits!" She answered back, those eyes showing just a hint of moisture as she struggled with her obvious emotions.

It was then that I took the time to take in her appearance. The intruder was a girl, just a girl, not beautiful, gorgeous or any of the superlatives applied here, just a plain college girl. In fact if I had to guess, she hadn't bothered a bit with her appearance today, no makeup, and hair in a quick pony-tail. Her clothes were simple, conservative shorts, baggy t-shirt and flat sandals. She had obviously chosen comfort over flash today, a surprise when you considered what we were obviously in town for.

"What are you afraid of?" I finally asked, after completing the quick inventory that all guys make of all girls.

"Oh no, you said it first!" she replied quickly and I caught just a tiny glimmer of playfulness in her eyes.

"Okay ..." I began hesitantly, not really sure why I was even having this conversation. I'd wanted to find a place to sit quietly and now I was having to answer to someone I didn't even know! "Okay, well I got here a couple days ago and did the spring break thing. You know, drink beer, party, get stupid, chase pussy!"

Damn, for the millionth time in my life my mouth ran faster than my brain and I knew I blushed a bit as I heard a small giggle come from my seat mate.

"Catch any?" She asked with a laugh.

"Ah ... well -," I stammered, embarrassed at the slip of the tongue

"Go on, just teasing!" She said, letting me know she wasn't offended.

"Actually, I didn't to tell you the truth. I barely even tried; I've kind of felt this dark cloud over me the last couple of days."

"Dark cloud?" she repeated, obviously looking for an explanation.

"Yeah, I mean, it's been building up but it really hit me this morning. I'm supposed to graduate and face the world here in a couple of months and it just scares the living shit out of me!"

"Wow!"

Surprised by her exclamation, I asked. "What ... wow?"

"Well, just wow, I guess we're in the same boat. I can't believe it, but I have the same problem."

I couldn't help it as a thought occurred to me and I started laughing before I gave her a sly look. "So, you couldn't catch any pussy either?"

"WHAT!" She exclaimed and then started laughing as she put it together.

"Just got the one but that puts me one up on you!" She threw out with a grin. I immediately realized that she was pretty quick on her feet.

"OHHHHH ... that hurt!" I replied, recoiling as if I had been hit in the chest.

"Serves you right!" She said, still chuckling. "So go on with your problem."

"Well, I mean, that's it! It seems like I've been in school my whole life, I've had some jobs but nothing solid, just part time. When I graduate, I'm going to have to move on and get an actual career. I have some money saved, but I really have to find something quick or I'm out of luck!"

Turning back to her, I could see the way her eyes showed her fear. It struck me how they displayed her emotions so plainly. "So what about you?" I asked.

"Worse! I've never even had a job! I'm not even sure how to get one." She answered, her eyes welling up a bit.

"Never had ANY job?"

"No, I had a scholarship and my grandmother left me some money, so I never worked, I just wanted to focus on school. I even took classes in the summer so I could get a dual major. I do have some money left, but if I don't get a job, I could be homeless!"

I was struck by the tenor of her voice, she was really worried. "Well, what about your folks, can you move back home?" I asked, trying to be a calming voice to her obvious fright.

"Hah," she snorted, "You mean the folks who were pissed off that I inherited Gram's money and was going to waste it in college when they could have used it for booze and cigarettes!"

"Sorry." I said quietly, instantly feeling bad that I had asked. It had seemed like an obvious question but as I sat there, I realized that in trying to calm her, I made it worse. Glad I hadn't majored in psychology!

We both seemed to need a short break so we stared off into the ocean for a bit. "It's okay, you didn't know." She finally said softly. "What about your parents, can you go home?"

Now I saw that she felt bad as my face betrayed my emotions. "No, there really is no home. My parents divorced early, dad took off. My mom and I get along but she remarried and they had a couple more kids. It was okay growing up but ... just uncomfortable I guess. Odd man out, you could say. When I got a scholarship offer from across the country, I took it and left."

"Still talk to her?" She asked and I could hear a real empathy for me in her voice. She seemed better at this than I was. Maybe she majored in psychology?

"Yeah, Mother's Day, Christmas, on my birthday, but she has a new life and I think we call more out of a sense of obligation than anything."

"I'm sorry."

Again the quiet settled in until I thought of something she said. "So ... scholarship huh?" I asked, changing the subject to what I hoped was a better one.

"Academics," She answered proudly. "You?"

"Baseball!"

"Really, well maybe you can go pro!" She said excitedly.

"No, not really an option."

"Oh, what happened, get hurt?"

I looked over at her and caught her eye again, surprised at her genuine interest. "No, not hurt, just not good enough. I mean that was the dream, but one day I just looked in the mirror and realized that no matter what I did, I just didn't have it. At that point I buckled down and started taking school more serious, so in the end, I'm okay with moving on."

"So if baseball's not your future, what is?"

"Well, I'm getting my degree in marketing, so I hope to get in advertising, you?

"Accounting and business!"

"Ahh .. good with numbers I suppose." I teased, so much for my guess of psychology!

"Hope so, or a lot of homework went for naught!" She said with a laugh. I noticed her eyes had a bit more sparkle than when she sat down, that seemed like a good sign.

A rumble broke into our conversation and I looked over at her as she hid her head in embarrassment. "Missed breakfast," she said sheepishly.

"I'm getting a hot dog, I saw a vendor just over there." I said motioning my head to the side. It was then that I realized I had been talking to her for a while now and had missed a step. "Say, I don't even know your name."

"Uhmm ... Cammie." She answered hesitantly.

"Cammie? Short for?"

"Cameron"

"Oh, okay, well I'm Mark." I said and held out my hand to shake hers.

Taking my hand, she gave me a firm handshake, which felt strangely warm and comfortable. "Short for Markus?

I chuckled as I released her hand, her question hitting me funny. "No, believe me, my parents weren't that smart. Mark is just Mark." I answered still grinning.

"Well at least you don't have to explain it to everyone."

"Ah ... but just like you, people assume."

"Touché!" She answered as her stomach rumbled again.

"Come on," I said as we got up and walked down the path. "So where do you go to school?"

"Ahhmm - "she hesitated again.

Catching on quickly, I let her off the hook as I remembered why we were here. "I know, let me guess, spring break safety briefing?"

"Sorry, I guess it's drilled into me."

"I understand, and I'm not offended. But you do have to wonder with what I saw the last couple of nights if everyone got the word."

"Yeah, no shit!"

We were still laughing as we got to the stand and placed our orders. After picking up our food, we wandered back to the same bench to eat, making casual conversation along the way.

I finished first and dumped my trash in a nearby container. I had also gone without breakfast and the casualness of our chat had made me forget about the usual girl/boy rituals. No fine dining proprieties, I just inhaled the hot dogs as I was really hungry!

"You're fast!" She told me with a smile, as she was just half way through her lunch.

Dropping down into my seat, I gave her a cheesy little grin. "Yeah, shocking with all my speed, I still couldn't catch any."

She had just taken a bite of her hot dog when what I said hit her and she started laughing so hard I thought she was going to choke. I was quickly going through my basic CPR instructions and trying to remember how many breaths to how many chest compressions, when she started to breathe again.

"OH MY GOD!" She yelled out as she finally regained control. "You almost killed me!"

"Well, you ARE one up on me!"

"STOP IT!" She screamed at me playfully. "Let me finish in peace!"

I kept quiet while she finished the rest of her lunch and threw away the trash. I was just enjoying the view of the ocean and the gentle breeze when she returned to the bench and joined me again.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She finally asked.

I thought of continuing the joke but decided to be more serious. "I just wish I knew my future." I answered and I think she picked up on the conviction in my voice. I wasn't playing, I was very serious.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I actually feel pretty confident that eventually I'll do well, it's just ... I guess I wish I knew how hard the next few years will be before I get there."

I turned towards her, stunned by how her thoughts were almost exactly the same as mine. "I swear you must be reading my mind, I was thinking the same thing!"

"Wouldn't it be great if we knew the next ten or fifteen years. I mean, I'd be good with that, maybe just ten years, after that, I think I'll be okay."

"Ten years, yeah, I'm with you there, ten years, that's all I need." I replied, still deep in thought. Then like the proverbial light bulb going off over my head, I had a crazy idea. "Tell you what, ten years from today, we meet back here and see what happened, how we did!"

"What?" She exclaimed.

"It'll be great, we meet back at this bench and then we tell each other all the struggles, successes, whatever that we had."

"You're serious?" She asked shaking her head at me.

"Hell yeah, it'd be great."

"Fine, deal!" She said and we exchanged another warm handshake. This time when I looked in her eyes, there was a small twinkle, gone was the darkness that was there when she sat down.

"Now all we have to do is make a plan for our big success!" I said as our hands broke apart.

"All right, what's the plan?"

"Well first goal ... I've gotta catch up!" I told her, with a sly grin.

"Catch up with what?" She asked quizzically.

"How soon you forget that you're already more successful than me." She didn't even answer me, her face clearly showed her confusion, so I just pressed on. "You're one up on me!"

Once again, we started laughing and I realized how much I enjoyed hearing her. She had a way of laughing with her whole body, letting it all go, without caring about how much noise she made or embarrassing herself in any way. I actually found it endearing after dealing with girls that were afraid that they might smear their makeup or ruffle their hair.

Ahh, the memories. Sitting alone on the bench, I reflected on how I had fallen for her over the next few hours. We talked about everything, our upbringing, challenges of school, but mostly our hopes and dreams for the future. As the day long ago passed, I remembered how her eyes kept getting brighter and brighter, her laughter more and more uninhibited. She was like no one I had ever met, serious and thoughtful one minute, hilarious the next. Her sense of humor and quick wit kept me off balance but behind the playfulness was an intellect that intrigued me. She was obviously smart, and I wasn't at all surprised when she let on that she was going to graduate near the top of her class. She was obviously not a cheerleader in her slouchy shorts and t-shirt but after a while I saw that there was just something magnetic peeking out from inside of her.

I remember coming on spring break to party and find a girl or better yet girls, for some casual sex. But somehow I had run into one that had taken my mind into an entirely new direction; friend. I was sharing more of myself than I had ever shared with anyone in my life and I felt entirely at ease with it. Was I conscious of the fact that Cammie was a girl, of course, but for some reason that I couldn't explain, it just didn't seem to matter. All of my normal, impress her so I can get laid thoughts were gone, replaced with 'hey this could be my best friend in the world', and I was having the time of my life!

But after we talked for hours, it seemed that a lull finally settled in on us and I could see her start to grow anxious. I knew our time was coming to an end and we needed to return to our respective spring break plans. I couldn't believe how it saddened me that we were just the proverbial ships passing in the night.

"Well, I should really go." She said as she stood up.

"Yeah, me too." I replied, rising up also.

I moved in slowly to her and gave her a chaste hug, wanting to feel her against me but not wanting to come across as the creepy guy from the beach!

"See you in ten years." She said as we parted and she spun around and walked away.

"See you then." I answered, unsure of what else I should say.

Watching her go that day, I had the feeling you get when you've lost something important. My thoughts started swirling as I tried to get a handle on the moment. Quickly I went through an inventory of her assets, looks, intelligence, and on and on. Then I switched to pro's and con's. Hell I didn't even know where she was from, or where she was going, or where I was going for that matter.

But suddenly my analytical mind cleared and it was if all the independent thoughts were gone. Somehow, someway my heart took over and every thought I had was replaced in an instant with one, and I heard it loud and clear, DO NOT LET HER WALK OUT OF YOUR LIFE, STUPID!

Sprinting after her, I was surprised how easily I caught up. "HEY!" I yelled out as I approached her. Maybe my mind was trying to gain back control as it calculated the appropriate time and distance parameters, went through the geometry and sent me out a little warning that she should have been a lot farther away than she actually was!

She quickly spun around at my words and I could see the tears in her eyes. Now that I was here, I realized I had no idea what to say, and looking at her face with those two wet tracks running down her cheeks, it wasn't getting any easier.

Finally my heart stepped up again and cleared out my thoughts. It made me throw caution to the wind and speak straight from that heart that had taken control.
"Would you like to go out with me tonight?" I asked then threw in a dramatic pause. "Not like," I said with a grin before changing my voice to my best drunk surfer impression. "Hey Baby its spring break lets grab a six pack and PARRRRRTY!"

After I paused for another moment, I switched to the most sincere and mature voice I had. "But more like; Cameron ... would you accompany me to dinner this evening?"

As with all men in the aftermath of asking a question such as that, I was shaking inside. My heart was beating wildly and congratulating me on my boldness. My mind on the other hand, was laying out in intricate detail all of the hundreds of reasons why this was a bad idea and how I was about to be shot down and humiliated right here in front of God and everybody! Yep, my mind was winning and I was quickly realizing that I had made a huge and embarrassing mistake.

Suddenly I saw it, her eyes bright and sparkling. "Of course, why do you think I was walking so slooooowwwww!" Her huge smile melting away my fears.

I let out the breath I had been holding when it dawned on me what she said. "What ... you ... what ... damn!" I sputtered out as it occurred to me that maybe my analytical mind had failed me ... badly!

Taking my arm, as I seemed rooted to the spot, still trying to figure out what the hell had just happened, she gently led us back in the direction towards our hotels. "You know, now I know why I'm one up on you!" She said with a giggle, as we walked away.

I couldn't contain myself as I busted out laughing. "Yeah, obviously I just showed my romantic abilities!" I threw out as I tried to recover from her zinger.

Surprising me once more, she stopped and gently guided me around to face her. "I have never had a more romantic dinner invitation in my life. I'll never forget it." She said quietly, her eyes full of light. I was too stunned to even respond as she moved into me and kissed me gently on the cheek. I was still trying to get my bearings when she maneuvered us onto the path back towards the beach area. After walking down to where the hotels were, we split up after agreeing to meet at a restaurant in a couple of hours.

The sun was really starting to bake me as I remembered that night in detail. I had gotten to the swanky restaurant early. After I looked at the other patrons, I knew that what I was wearing made me a bit underdressed but it was the best I could do on short notice, hell I never considered that I would be having a romantic dinner with a girl I just met. Yeah, I planned on meeting girls but a romantic dinner was really not on the agenda.

"Oh well," I said quietly as I waited in the booth, wondering if she would even show up.

Keeping an eye on the door, I saw a woman come in but after a quick look, I realized it wasn't her. My view was partially blocked but I could see that the woman was taller than Cammie and was dressed in a beautiful black dress that hugged some incredible curves. She had her back to me and I could see waves of glossy brunette hair that curled delightfully at her shoulders before cascading down her back. I could just make out that her dress stopped above the knees, leaving a tantalizing view of long legs encased in black stockings.

Suddenly, I caught myself staring and did a quick look around. Staring at one woman while you are waiting on another one can be a recipe for disaster, don't ask me how I know that, but I do!

"Sir?"

Startled out of my thoughts, I looked up into the face of the Maître'd. "Yes?" I asked wondering how he had snuck up on me.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"Yes, Cammie, I mean Cameron."

"All right sir, thank you" He said and hustled off towards the front of the restraunt.

I fiddled with the menu for a moment and when I looked up my heart leapt into my throat and I could feel my jaw drop. The Maître'd was escorting the woman who was standing by the door over towards me. I was trying to tear my eyes away from those incredible legs perched on high heels when her escort stopped and swept his arm to indicate to her to sit down.

She slid into the seat across from me as my mind and heart were both trying to figure out what the hell was going on! "Mark, are you okay?" She asked carefully.

"Jesus H Christ Cammie, you're fucking gorgeous!" I blurted out as it hit me that the alluring beauty that I had been ogling was my date!

She started giggling as I tried to pull back the words that had just leapt from my mouth. "Cammie, I'm so sorry ... I don't ... I didn't ... I mean ..., oh hell with it!" I said before giving up and slumping back into the seat.

"I guess I did okay, it was just something I brought with me." She beamed at me, her eyes twinkling and bright.

Somehow I got control of myself by this time and I was trying hard to figure out a way to get my foot out of my mouth. "Cammie, I AM sorry, I just ... I mean I was looking for the simple girl with the pony tail and ... well wait ... that didn't come out ... it's just that ... I thought ... Damn!"

"You're really not doing any better you know!" She teased.

"Fine, you know what, I give up ... I'm going back to my original statement ... your gorgeous, and leave it at that!"

"That's not exactly what you said, but I'll take it." She replied with another laugh.

"I feel like I'm a peasant out with a princess."

"Mark it's okay, I know you don't live here and you wore what you brought, besides I think you look handsome."

"Are we ready to order?" the waiter had snuck up on us and we quickly made our choices and he left. Within a couple minutes, we both had our drinks and an uncomfortable silence fell over us.

"Mark are you okay, you seem quiet all of a sudden."

I know she read the pained expression on my face. I looked down as I tried to figure out a way to tell her what was bothering me. It was simple really, I always thought of myself as just a regular guy and now sitting across from this beautiful woman, who I should barely even be allowed to think about much less talk to, I was very uncomfortable. I stared at my drink for a minute as I searched for the right words to get me off the hook. Hell girls like this didn't date guys like me, and I was silently beating up my heart for getting me into this mess at the same time my mind was giving me the old, I told you so!

"Cammie, I'm sorry, maybe this wasn't a good idea." I finally answered, knowing that if she hadn't realized I was an idiot before, I had just dispelled all doubt.

I looked up and saw her eyes moisten and I could tell that I had hurt her and it tore at my heart. Well, I reasoned, better we both realize how much of an odd couple we are now and go our separate ways. That's right, my mind was saying, get out now, don't be a putz, she'll get a good look at you and then she'll break your heart.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, I thought that we really hit it off today." She answered and I could see a bit of a tear form in her eyes and the bright light that was in them when she sat down, was fading fast.

"We did ... we did, it's just that, I don't know, I just didn't realize, I guess, I guess, damn I'm blabbering again!" I was silently praying for a hurricane to hit and get me out of this mess.

"Mark, just say it, we talked all day long, how is it you're all tongue tied now?"

Damn it, just spit it out, my mind screamed, take your lumps and move on. Except, when I looked in her eyes and saw that the light was almost gone, I felt like I was being stabbed. "Cammie, look ... I'm just a regular guy and I kind of took you for a regular girl and I guess I got caught up in that and now ... and now I realize that, well, you're not."

"Not what?"

I took a huge breath and jumped in with both feet, my mind pushing me forward! "Jesus Cammie, you are ... well you're ... Christ Cammie, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever talked to in my life, let alone had a date with!" There I said it and I sat back in my seat, giving her a chance to take a good look at me, realize I was right and agree with me. Yep, I had done the right thing!

Shit, something was very wrong! As I was mentally patting myself on the back, I realized that somewhere I had gone astray, because whatever my mind had pushed out of my mouth had been a bad idea. Now it was my heart that was suddenly jumping up and down screaming at me that I was an asshole! Because as my words hit her, I saw her face change and I realized that the old adage of be careful what you wish for was right, I had wished for a hurricane and a very angry one was sitting right across the table from me!

"YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE! So I put on a pretty dress and fixed my hair and dabbed some makeup on, all for YOU I might add, and now after all we talked about today, you think I am so shallow that I would think that you don't deserve me!"

"Cammie ..." I started, but she was on a roll and I was just a blade of grass in the center of the storm!

"Just shut up! All I could think of all day long was how I met the man of my dreams and how far out of my league YOU are. I'm normally so fucking shy, I wanted to ask you out but I just couldn't do it. I kept praying if I could somehow get you to ask me, I was going to do everything I could to make myself pretty in the hope that you might just think I was good enough to be with you!"

"Wha - " I tried to jump in but she didn't even slow down!

"I didn't bring this dress YOU MORON, I ran around for the last two hours trying to find something special for YOU and then, after spending a ton of money I don't have on the dress and hose and shoes, I begged the girls I came with to do my hair and make-up just to fucking impress YOU and now YOU tell me that after all of that, I look too GOOD to be with YOU!"

"Oh my God" I said as I lowered my head and covered my face with my hands.

"Idiot, idiot, idiot! You are NEVER going to catch up this way!"

My head snapped up as something she said hit home. "Wait a minute, did you say, man of your dreams?"

In an instant, I saw the fire drain from her eyes, to be replaced with a blush that covered her entire face.

"Damn, did I say that out loud?" She said sheepishly. "I guess my 'play hard to get' routine just went out the window!"

Suddenly we both erupted in laughter and we were still trying to regain some semblance of decorum when our meal arrived. I think everyone in the restaurant had heard our exchange and they probably rushed our order out so we would have our mouths full of food and shut up!

Embarrassed by the argument, we both started eating. "God, I miss the steak from back home." Cammie finally said, I think more to make conversation than anything else.

"Well that's your fault, you ordered steak in Florida, and I ordered seafood. Florida is on the ocean, which means you order seafood. Steak comes from beef, beef are ... wait a minute, back home?" I asked as a crazy thought hit me.

She looked at me for a few seconds before she finally understood the question. "Fine, I guess after spending three hundred dollars on a dress for you, I can tell you I go to Creighton."

Three hundred ... three hundred fucking dollars on a dress! DAMN! For me! I thought of my wrinkled kakis' and golf shirt and cringed. But I quickly moved past my clothing issue as what else she said connected. "Creighton, you mean like Creighton University in Omaha?"

"Yeah, Omaha, you know Omaha as in Nebraska as in beef as in steaks." She answered, looking at me as if I was an idiot, which I had in fact already proven, so it really wasn't necessary at this point anymore.

"No, not as in beef as in steaks, but as in University of Nebraska." I said with a cheesy grin.

"No, not as in ... wait a minute ... you ... are you ... you are from OMAHA!" She blurted out as she looked up and caught the look on my face.

Sticking out my hand across the table, I used my formal voice for the second time that day. "Mark Lee Robbins, University of Nebraska, Omaha, at your service ma'am."

Picking up on it, she quickly took my hand and shook it. "Cameron Elizabeth Hamilton, Creighton University, Omaha, nice to meet you."

From that point on the dinner became a blur to me. The idea that this gorgeous woman that I was infatuated with lived in the same city as I did made me so unbelievably happy that I could barely follow the conversation.

After we left, they had done all they could to hurry us along, she took my arm and we strolled down the sidewalk a few blocks to her hotel. We laughed at the antics of our fellow spring break participants along the way, though somehow it seemed that we both had the feeling that we had somehow matured and were no longer part of that crowd.

When we arrived at her hotel, both my mind and my heart had competing ideas but I just dove in for a kiss. I couldn't help myself and I took her into my arms, it started gently but became heated in seconds. Suddenly we both realized we were making a spectacle of ourselves in front of the hotel and we quickly broke apart. "Can I meet you here in the morning and we can do breakfast?" I asked, really not wanting my time with her to end, but also wanting to give her an out if she didn't want to invite me up.

"Sure, how about nine?" She answered quickly, her face breaking into a huge smile.

Again I took her in my arms for a short kiss before letting her go. "Good night Cameron" I said as we pulled apart.

"Goodnight" she replied and I walked away.

Surprisingly I wasn't as disappointed as I thought I should be. I came here to meet girls and get laid but for some reason, I was more excited about meeting her in the morning than I was mad about missing out on an opportunity tonight. I did however, hedge my bets a bit as I was using her trick from earlier when I heard the sounds of someone running behind me.

"Hey!" I heard and turned around to see her standing there with her high heels in her hand.

"Hey" I replied, wanting to bang my head into a nearby light post at my witty comeback.

"Uhmmm, I have my own room, would you like to come up?" She asked and I could see those eyes again and the uncertainty in them.

I couldn't help myself as I felt my face break into a huge grin. "Of course, why do you think I was walking so slooooowwwww!"

We both broke into laughter again as she put her heels back on and I led her up to her room. Once inside I quickly pulled her to me, continuing what we started in front of the hotel. As the kisses became more frantic, I guided her towards the bed but she stopped and pushed me back a bit.

I tried to get a read on what was going on in her head, so I peered deep into those eyes that had been so expressive all day. But while I expected passion, I caught a glimpse of something else and about the time I was trying to figure it out, her dress dropped off of her to pool around her feet.

"Jesus" I whispered out, as anything I was thinking was gone in an instant! She looked like she just stepped out of a lingerie commercial. Her legs looked incredible, between the spike heels and lace topped stockings I was stunned by how long and shapely they were. Moving up, she had a thong covering her sex but using the word covering seemed like a serious overstatement. It was barely visible and I had to smile a little as I remembered how she had yelled at me about all her prep work for our date. It was very obvious that the preparation had included a very tight shave!

But continuing up, it was her breasts that captivated me. They were in a bra that simply went around her torso without any shoulder straps. It was black and lacy and just cupped her breasts from below, holding them out so that they were full and round and beautiful. Her nipples were pointed at me like hard little bullets and as she stepped into me I could feel them against my chest, even through my shirt.

I hugged her to me, kissing her harder and harder as I felt my blood boiling. It was if I couldn't decide where I wanted my hands as I ran them down to her tight ass and then up to take in the smoothness of her back.

Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to have her under me. She let out a surprised giggle as I picked her up off her feet and laid her onto the bed. I quickly stripped down to my underwear and climbed in with her. Laying down beside her, we resumed kissing, her arms around my neck and my right hand full of her soft breasts. As I attacked her mouth, I squeezed and kneaded her breasts, teasing her hard nipples with my fingertips. I switched back and forth between them, wishing I could use both hands but the way I was half laying on her, made my other hand feel very left out.

Tearing my lips away from hers was damn near impossible but I wanted my mouth on those breasts. As I worked my way down her slender neck, I looked down and could see my prizes. Finally I got down to them and started gently running my tongue in a circular pattern around the nearest breast. I slowly worked my way to the hard nipple and when I was right up to it I quickly pounced on it, sucking it between my lips and tonging it feverishly.

I worked on the near breast until I was satisfied with my effort, before leaning over and starting on the other. I was hoping she would reach down and play a bit too, but she seemed surprisingly content to just let me take the lead. I was enjoying my ministration on her other breast, when I realized that my hand was free and maybe I should make use of it elsewhere!

"Oh!" She said, as my fingers slid slowly across her flat stomach and down into her panties.

"So beautiful" I murmured around her nipple, my fingertips softly circling the hard little button above her opening.

"Yes," she said softly as she felt the gentle way my fingers were playing her.

I was on fire like I had never been before but something was wrong. So far she hadn't made any effort to touch me and while I was no super stud, I had been with enough women to feel it, her words didn't match what her body was saying. I expected her to feel relaxed and encouraging to my caresses, but instead she felt rigid and tentative. And when I gently slid my fingers down towards her opening, it felt dry, without any of the wetness that I was sure my attentions should have brought. Lifting myself a bit away from her, I had every intention of continuing the assault until my eyes locked on hers. In an instant everything changed and I slowly pulled my hand back from its intended target. Leaving her laying on her back, I slowly rolled off to the side. I kept my eyes locked on hers as I put my arm around her and pulled her onto her side against me.

"What's wrong?" she asked timidly, wondering why I had stopped.

Letting out a loud sigh, I just knew that my man card was about to be revoked. Those eyes that I had looked into showed some excitement but they had also shown deep fear, fear of what I didn't know, but fear of something. She was terrified and it was that look that startled me, I wanted her so bad that it hurt but for some reason, her eyes stopped me cold. "Cammie, tell me what you want here." I whispered to her.

"What do you mean?" She replied bringing her hand up to my cheek.

"I know this is going to sound ... I don't know ... wrong, but I have to ask you something."

"Go on." She told me, her hand still caressing my face.

"Look, if this is tonight, I swear, I will do everything I can to make you have the night of your life. I mean, I will take you like you have never been taken and I won't stop until you scream out my name."

"But?"

"Cammie, I don't want that, if in the morning I have to let you go."

"What do you mean?" She asked softly, but I could tell that she knew exactly what I saw in her eyes.

"I want you for more than a night. We had the most incredible day and I want to have another one tomorrow and lots more after that, I don't want what we do tonight to get between us somehow. So I need to know, do you want tonight or ... or do want a shot at forever?" There, I said it and I felt my man card being stripped from me. I was giving up a sure shot at sex for a chance at a ... gasp ... relationship! Fuck, what happened to my world? 

But as my words filtered through to her, I saw her eyes soften, and with the fear gone, she pulled herself hard against me. "I'll take the chance on forever." She whispered into my ear and I could feel her tears against my neck.

I now had the answer to my question, I knew exactly what happened to my world, Cameron Elizabeth Hamilton and if there was any doubt left in me, it was gone when I heard her whisper softly. "Will you just hold me tonight?"

At that moment I knew, I wanted to hold her forever!

My thoughts of long ago were interrupted by a couple laughing as they walked down the path behind me. Shaking my head for what seemed to be the hundredth time today, I relived the next few months in my mind. The morning after, she had tearfully revealed that she had had only a couple very unsatisfying sexual experiences with guys who only wanted to use her. The last was the worst, he had slipped her drugs and when she woke up she had been used and he was gone. He quickly spread the story that she was a slut and for weeks after she had been hounded on campus. Through it all, with nowhere else to go, she had held her head high and let it die out. But the incident had left her with a deep distrust of men.

I was astounded by her story and couldn't help but be deeply moved by her courage in inviting me up to her room. She was so scared that her past would haunt her and she wouldn't be able to satisfy me and I would just move on. I assured her that when the time was right, we would cross that bridge but for now, we would just enjoy being together. It was only my insecurities that kept me from telling her the truth, I had no intention of EVER letting her go!

After we returned home the romance blossomed and when we finally made love, the fear in her eyes was gone to be replaced with pure passion. It was a night that was incredible for both of us and it seemed to seal us together for eternity.

As a team, gone were the fears of the future. We both had jobs before we graduated and we were married by fall. With each of us seemingly the others coach, cheerleader and confidant, we were soon a power couple with limitless futures.

I quickly became a star with my company, taking them away from traditional advertising and into the internet. The companies' sales skyrocketed and within five years I found himself a Vice-President with an office in the executive suite.

But unfortunately it was her job which doomed our marriage. She also rose quickly and was soon managing a large section of accountants at a major insurance company. Her new boss, Don was a swarthy, slick backed hair lecher who I thought had too much of an interest in Cammie. I took an immediate dislike to him when I met him at the July fourth company picnic. I tried to talk to her about it but she just shut me down, telling me that she had dealt with men in the workplace and she was a big girl.

Even with that small blip, I felt our life was just about perfect. We bought a huge home overlooking the river and drove the best in cars. New boat, vacation home in the country and bulging savings and retirement accounts set us up for the future. We had started talking about children as our best friends Bill and Karen had just had a baby and it made us long for our own.

Shaking my head once again, I thought of them and how thankful I had been for that friendship. Bill was actually a co-worker of Cammie and was a manager at her level, just in another area. We had all been friends for a couple of years when they ended up competing for the same promotion. The bond was so strong between us that we all made a pact that no matter who got promoted, we would celebrate it as friends and boy did we ever! Cammie got it, but Bill took it in stride and seemed genuinely happy for us. I had to smile at the thought of that event, the four of us partied late into the night and needed a cab to get us home safely.

Unfortunately, it was Bill who let me know about Cammie's activities. In a way, I should have known, within a couple months of her promotion we had gone from having sex four or five times a week to none. She seemed withdrawn and distant. When Bill suggested a weekly Monday Night Football get together, I jumped on it just to get out of the house.

After a couple of weeks though, Bill's demeanor changed, he went from talking about work a lot to never mentioning it. At first I was happy, as his stories about how Cammie and Don were great together were pissing me off, but when he stopped it seemed worse. Then I got the feeling that Bill wanted to tell me something but just couldn't. Finally after a month of game nights, came the conversation that would change my life.

I remembered it as clearly as any memory I had. We sat watching the game without a word between us. Bill appeared to me to be deeply troubled and after it was over and most of the crowd had left, I finally pinned him down. "Bill, what's going on, you've been sitting here all night stewing?"

"I'm okay." Bill answered but without a bit of conviction in his voice.

"Look, whatever it is, maybe I can help."

"I don't think so." His head down, focused on the beer in front of him.

"Come on man, problems at work, home, are you and Karen having trouble, what can I do?"

"I'm sorry, but its ... its ... hard to say."

Taking another sip of his beer, I tried to pull it out of him. "Whatever it is, just blurt it out and we can deal with it."

Looking up from the table, he took a huge breath and then shattered my world. "I think your wife is having an affair!"

I so wanted to dismiss his statement but my heart wouldn't let me. The same heart that made me chase after her years before, made me believe what was said now. Stunned, I just sat there and mentally went through the inventory, no sex anymore, her indifferent attitude towards me, her evasiveness when we talked, yes, unfortunately it all fit. But even though I knew Bill was right, I needed to know more.

"Why do you think that?" I asked but it was plain that I believed Bill, and he knew it.

"Look, I'm sorry, but they leave together in the middle of the day, they are always together at work, and I think they are using these nights out as a way to get together. Man, I'm so sorry to have to be the one!"

So much of me just wanted to run home at that moment and have it out but Bill stopped me.

"Mark, listen, I don't have any solid proof and I can tell you're about to go off halfcocked. Let me offer a plan?"

"Okay, I'm listening." I answered, hanging on desperately to any chance that he was wrong.

"Give me a week, let me find out for sure and we can talk next Monday night. You don't want to do anything to cause a problem that doesn't exist!"

I took another sip of beer, but it tasted stale in my mouth. Could I really wait a week I wondered, but then I realized he was right. "All right, I'll wait, but man I need to know one way or the other."

"I'll have an answer, just hang in there."

When I returned home that night, Cammie was in bed turned away from me. I laid there staring at the ceiling, I wanted to confront her and have it out but Bill was right, it was best to wait. But it was after the practical side of my thoughts were done, that the emotional took over.

Why, I wondered. How did this happen, how could a woman that I loved more than I could ever express decide to go to another man? What did I do wrong? When did it go wrong? I laid there analyzing every minute of our lives and I just couldn't understand how it was possible. Somehow with my thoughts swirling, I finally drifted off to sleep.

To say the next week was uncomfortable would be an understatement. Two people who once loved each other, now couldn't look at each another. We used to talk for hours, now only a brief hello and goodbye passed between us. Every time I looked at her, the same questions kept going through my head, could this happen? But something else kept tickling at me, why wasn't she happier when she went to work? She seemed sadder now than in the last couple of months and when she looked at me, it seemed that there were always tears just waiting to be shed. Did she want to go, but didn't know how to break it off? Guilt, maybe, but then why not just leave? I guess I just put it all aside to nothing making sense anymore!

Monday night came but with it another mystery, Bill left me a message that he would be late. When he finally arrived at about half time, I was trying to settle my nerves but I was a basket case.

"Hey", he said to me as he finally got there, carrying a large vanilla envelope.

"Hey yourself."

He ordered a beer and seemed to be gathering himself for something and unfortunately I knew what. "Look, just let me know!" I finally spat out at him after waiting what I felt was an eternity.

He looked sheepish and then pushed forward. "Look before we talk, I need your word on something."

"Okay," I answered quizzically.

"Mark, I have a wife and child that I have to protect no matter what happens."

"Okay," Again, I couldn't understand where he was going.

"Mark, if all this goes bad, I could be in serious trouble, I could end up being a scapegoat here and lose my job, and probably be blackballed. I'm begging you, whatever we talk about tonight, you keep my name and involvement out of it. You have to promise, I can't risk my family!"

I sat back in my chair as I immediately understood two things. One is that he was right, this could possibly rock his world if it came out he was involved in this mess. He was my best friend, no matter how the chips fell, I couldn't risk his family. He had a wonderful wife and new baby, this wasn't his fault and he shouldn't have to pay for it.

But it was the second that tore at my soul, there was only one possible reason for the warning. Cammie was having an affair and it was with someone who could destroy his life. There was only one person that I knew could do that, that bastard Don. Fucking, greasy, slicked back hair, fucking lecherous, roving eyes, fucking asshole Don!

"I understand." I finally told him with a deep pain in my chest and anger building in my head.

Opening the envelope, he pulled out a couple pictures. "I'm sorry." He said softly. "I'm going to show you these but I take them with me; its part of the protection I need."

As he quickly laid down the pictures, I realized I didn't need them, just seeing them was enough. There she was in Don's bright yellow Corvette he was so fucking proud of, smiling as she got in the passenger seat. But the other was the one that put a dagger in my heart, Don's car parked in my driveway!

I grabbed up the pictures and tossed them at Bill. "I need some air." I said as I walked outside. The same thought came to me that had been there all week, why?

Bill was beside me but neither of us said a word. Suddenly it hit me. "He's there now isn't he, that's why you were late?"

He looked away and I had my answer. "I'm going home and fucking kill them BOTH!" I said, seething in anger as I headed to my car.

"NO!" Bill shouted at me and grabbed my arm. "No, we had a deal!"

"What! You expect me to do nothing!"

"Yes, for now!" He answered firmly, guiding me back into the bar.

Sitting back down, he explained carefully. "Look, if you go home now after being with me tonight, it will be obvious how you found out."

I just shook my head, trying to clear the image of them together, desperately to get my anger under control. I hated to admit it but he was right, if I charged in there now, Bill's family would pay the price.

"Just give it a couple more days, then just pack and leave." He was begging now.

"What, just turn tail and walk away?"

"Yes, I can give you the name of a good lawyer, don't do something you'll regret."

I was stunned at his attitude. "You think I should just let this go?"

Bill looked at me for what seemed like forever. "Would you really take her back after she was with Don?" He asked quietly.

"I don't know." I answered, but it was a lie. Both of us knew the truth, we were through, there was no way I would ever be with her after this. A person who would betray you once, would do it again, I've always believed that. Plus, just the image in my mind of her spreading her legs for that bastard was enough to almost make me puke. No, it was over and that fact pushed me into a depression that I had never felt before. "No, I do know, I wouldn't take her back, she made her choice." I told him quietly.

Bill just nodded and I got up and went home. Home, what was once was the happiest place I could ever be, now felt like a prison. Again, Cammie was asleep as I stared at the ceiling and made my plans.

I had just finished loading the last bag in my car on Thursday afternoon. I already made a couple trips to a furnished apartment that I had rented earlier in the week. Making sure I got all my things, I was really only taking my clothes and a few keepsakes, I realized it wasn't really all that much for six years of marriage.

Standing in the dining room, I stared at a picture on the wall. It was of our wedding and I could feel the tears coming into my eyes. I guess I was never much of an emotional sort but seeing that picture threatened to break it loose. I had stayed efficient and detached the last couple of days, taking half of the money, closing out joint credit cards, packing things up, but now the reality was hitting me, it was over. Prying myself from the spot I was standing, I walked over and took the picture off the wall, laying it in the middle of the table. Slipping off my wedding ring, I laid it on top of the picture and turned to walk out.

But when I turned around, I found myself looking right into her eyes!

"Leaving like a thief in the night!" She said to me, her voice filled with venom.

"I didn't expect you home so early." I replied calmly, caught off guard by her sudden appearance.

"I'll bet you didn't!"

"Then why are you here?" I asked, more to gain some time, than to get an answer.

"The bank called to ask about credit cards being canceled but I didn't have the passwords to talk to them about it, so I came home to get them. But I guess I don't need to, this explains it."

"I only canceled the joint ones and took my share."

I could see the tears starting in her eyes but really couldn't understand why, isn't this what she wanted?

"So this is it, you get to just walk away with no explanation!" She said and I could see the fury building in her face.

"I would think it would be obvious!" I responded, trying to keep things under control.

"Well it ain't fucking obvious to me!" She screamed at me and away we went down a path I tried so hard to avoid.

As I looked around the ocean front again, I wanted so badly to forget the argument that ensued. The screaming and yelling from both of us was unbelievable. She had even tried to accuse me of an affair with an intern from work, even claiming she had proof but refusing to reveal it. It was an obvious attempt to deflect the truth and I saw through it immediately. For my part, I managed to maintain my composure and keep Bill out of it but it was a struggle.

But it was the last minute that still troubled me today. One minute out of an hour of yelling, screaming, and cursing each other like no two people ever should, that still haunted me. As the arguing reached a fevered pitch, Cammie had picked up a cup and threw it at me. For an instant I felt myself smile just a bit as I remembered all the times I told her she threw like a girl. But then the smile was gone as I recalled my temper exploding and grabbing her and pushing her back against the wall. It was as if some maddening force had me in its grip and I was simply doing its bidding. I was so angry I just wanted to hurt her and I remember raising my hand to slap her and she yelled out a statement that stopped me cold.

"Go ahead, you'll never hurt me more than you already have!" She said in a defiant tone that startled me and I instantly slipped into an unexpected calm. At that point, I simply released her, grabbed my last bag and walked out.

I slumped down into the bench and for the thousandth time in the last couple of years, I thought of the fact that that was the last time I ever saw her.

The aftermath of that night was brutal, thankfully Bill came up with a lawyer that was as tenacious as hers. It took months and the battle was epic. Whatever my lawyer suggested was turned down, whatever hers wanted was outrageous. By the time it ended, we both were the subject of restraining orders and we never spoke again. Neither of us even showed up at court on the final day, the lawyers even handling that.

"Money", I sighed out loud. The money was gone, by the time the gavel fell almost everything we had worked and saved for was in the lawyer's pockets. Gone was the beautiful house on the river, gone were the cabin, the cars, the boat, our savings. At the end we were both left with some of our retirement accounts and we walked away, basically broke.

The final straw was when I received an envelope without a return address - no letter or note, just copies of the court order, changing her name back to her maiden one. She was back to Cameron Elizabeth Hamilton. I knew she had sent it just to twist the knife even deeper.

But through it all, and to this day, I could never understand her last words. "Go ahead, you'll never hurt me more than you already have!" I heard it every day in my mind and I still couldn't make sense of it.

She cheated on me with another man, so how did I hurt her so badly. Did she mean the way we treated each other over the last couple of months, with indifference, apathy, no that didn't make sense. Did she mean the argument that night, yes we both said things that night that should never been said, but they were just words. Words in the heat of the moment, she called me a fucking bastard, I called her a fucking bitch, and there were more that were even worse, but then they were just words. Was she just trying to make it all my fault, hurt me some more, make a point? Why, I wondered, why would she say that?

"Oh well." I whispered out, only to myself, I had never found the answer and it looked like I never would.

With my stomach growling I decided on some lunch and hit a local vendor for a hot dog, not the same one as ten years ago, I mused, but still good. I ate quickly and discarded the trash, taking back up the seat that I had occupied for most of the morning. The thoughts of the past running through my mind, never really seeming to stop.

I wondered about her, the same as I always did, a part of me hoping her life became a living hell, another part hoping she's happy now. I long ago lost my source of information, half way through the divorce Bill had gracefully bowed out of the whole business. I guess I never really blamed him, he had a family to feed and forced to choose between a friend and his job, he made the right choice.

After the divorce I did the usual one night stands which were unsatisfying. A couple longer relationships petered out quickly. Unfortunately I knew why, I wanted to blame them, but the fact was that it was me. The standard reason was that I didn't trust women, especially now with the money I made, and I always found myself questioning the relationship until I would just end it.

But the real reason hurt too much every time I was forced to admit it during these times of quiet reflection. The real reason was much simpler, they weren't her. Simple, almost too simple really. When I was with someone, I always made the comparison and the new woman inevitably came in second place.

Looking down at my watch, I said the same words out loud that I had said four hours ago. "Why can't I just let it go?"

I started to take one last look around, a small voice inside telling me that this would be the last time I would ever come here. I spent a lot of money to fly all the way down here, just to sit on a bench for four hours. But hopefully now, my heart would finally accept that it was over and let me move on. 

My eyes went from one side of my field of vision to the other and I caught sight of a figure standing a ways down the sidewalk. It was a woman, but the shape seemed to remind me of her. As I stared, it seemed like she realized that she had been sighted and she started towards my bench.

"Jesus Christ" I said under my breath as I realized that it was Cammie and she was coming my way.

Quickly I returned my gaze out to the ocean as my peripheral vision took in the sight of her approaching and sitting down next to me. My mind was racing as I sat there staring straight forward, wondering what to say or if I should say anything at all.

I could see her, but of course I pretended not to. She looked good, maybe thinner, hard to tell because she was just in some running pants and a baggy t-shirt. Her hair was a bit shorter but still in a ponytail.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you, you seem so deep in thought," she said softly and stood up, just as she had that day ten years ago. She must have realized I would never acknowledge her.

At her voice though, I knew why I hadn't spoken to her. "No that's okay, just scared is all." I replied, shocking myself with answering in the same way I had back then. But it was just as true today as it was then, I had no idea what to say to her.

"Oh God! I thought I was the only one!" She exclaimed as she plopped back down on the seat.

We both started chuckling a bit as we each must have felt the relief of breaking the ice.

"How have you been Cameron?" I asked facing out to the ocean, refusing to look at her. Maybe it was petty, but it was just the way I wanted this to be.

I could see her flinch a little when I used Cameron instead of Cammie. "Fine and you?"

"Okay."

We sat in silence for a while, both of us looking out at the scenery that hadn't really changed in all the years gone by.

"I wondered if you would come." I said quietly, still not facing her.

"I ... ah ... I've been here awhile, not sure if I should come over."

"I understand."

"Do you?" she asked with hint of sarcasm.

"You were worried I would hurt you?" Somehow her last words the night of the big fight still running around in my head.

Again silence filled the air for a minute or two.

"Not anymore." She finally answered cryptically.

I took it as a dismissal, she was letting me know how unimportant I was to her and I felt my blood boil. How could she feel that way when ... well when, fuck it, I could feel my voice rising, taunting her. "You seem to think that you were the only one hurt."

"You didn't seem that hurt when you packed your things and took off!" She replied defiantly.

"It was for the best, that way you didn't have to sneak around anymore!" Ah, I felt good as my counter punch hit her!

"Sneak around, who the fuck was sneaking around?"

"That's right, you weren't sneaking around, you were right there at home!" I shot back at her, letting her know that I hadn't forgotten how she was fucking her boss in our bed!

"Home, what the fuck are you talking about, I was at home, you were out, I hope you're happy now with her!"

"Her? I'm not even seeing anybody let alone have someone around! But now that you bring it up, how are you and lover boy doing?" I asked her, the words flying out at her even as we still weren't looking at each other.

"Lover boy, what ... where do you get that shit, I haven't even ... even ... oh fuck it!" She said her voice full of hate. Jumping to her feet she finally turned to me and yelled out. "I knew better than to come here!"

"Then why did you?" I spat out as I jumped up too.

"Because I made a promise, that's why!"

"A promise, you mean like a vow!" My words shocking her and I meant them to, what right did she have to play the integrity card now, the cheating bitch!

"FUCK YOU!" She cursed at me and then started to turn away.

Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her, I thought as she turned away. But then quickly it passed, I spent money and time to be here and have this shot at closure and this wasn't going to do it. "CAMMIE, STOP!" I yelled out, louder than I really needed to, and she froze, still facing away.

I reached up and ran my hand through my hair, trying to get some calm before I spoke again. "Cammie, I'm sorry, please ... please sit down."

She seemed to stand there for several seconds before she slowly dropped back down onto the bench.

Sitting back down, I could see that the next move was mine as she stared off into the ocean. "Look Cammie, I'm sorry, I guess ... well I guess there is still a lot of hurt all around. I think we both came here to get some closure and maybe we still can."

I saw her head nod just a bit so I continued. "Ten years ago we said we would share our stories, but I don't think that reliving the past will help. I suggest we try to have a quiet conversation and then do our best to part on as friendly of terms as possible, then maybe we can both move on."

She seemed to ponder my words for a while before finally agreeing. "Okay, you're right, I'm sorry too."

Again the silence enveloped us and I decided to start with small talk. "When did you get in?"

That started the ball rolling and we chatted for a while about our travels, hotels we stayed in, places we visited, and restaurants we ate at. She asked me about my job and I gave her a brief rundown on how I was doing, then she did the same. The conversation moved around to many different topics from the weather to politics and finally settled into people we both used to know. As with many divorces, friends choose sides and never crossed the imaginary boundaries that that sets up.

But as we talked, I could feel myself getting more and more melancholy. This isn't what I wanted, I didn't want sad, I wanted angry! Angry, bitter, outraged, furious, those were the emotions I wanted to feel, but all I could get was miserable. The more we talked, the farther down I got, this was not getting me the closure I desired and I couldn't figure out why. I wanted to curse her, she had destroyed something beautiful, but as we talked the reality started seeping in.

I hadn't lost my wife and lover, I had lost my best friend and it was killing me. Listening to us chat brought it all back to me. It wasn't her looks or sex or money, she was the one who I could tell anything to and she would be there for me. That's why I fell in love with her and this conversation was just driving a stake through my heart. Closure, hell with that, I just wanted to get away from her so I could wallow in my pain!

But before I escaped, there was one bit of information I needed first. "How are Bill and Karen?" I finally asked, wondering if they were still working together and secretly worried if my old friend had survived any fallout for blowing the whistle on her.

She looked shocked and turned and peered at me strangely. "God, I hoped to never hear those names again!"

Now it was my turn to be startled, my worry increasing for what was once my best friend. "What do you mean?" I asked, fearful of the answer.

She now had her head in her hand as she was looking down at the ground. "Don fired him a year after ... well a year after ... after we were done."

"Well thank God for good old Don." I remarked with as much sarcasm as I could muster. The bastard found out about Bill and actually fired him for revealing their affair. Three more links down the asshole chain, I hoped he rotted in hell!

She missed the sarcasm completely and was still looking down. Finally she raised her head and I could see the tears in her eyes. "Thank God for Don and Tara!" She said and I could tell she was barely holding on to her emotions.

What's this all about I wondered, and who the hell is Tara, but I decide, for now, just to try to get a little more information. "What happened?"

"Bill was so supportive during all the, well during the ... the whole process, and after a while I thought things were finally looking up."

I could see her getting more emotional as she continued. "But then everything started going wrong, just little things, I kept getting in trouble for things that weren't my fault, documents got lost, paperwork was wrong that I was sure was right, money was missing, numbers weren't adding up, staff problems, miscommunications, on and on. It just kept escalating, never seeming to end. Every day was a battle just to keep it all together. It just kept getting worse and worse and I thought I was actually losing my mind; and then suddenly Don caught on."

"Caught on, caught on to what?"

"It was Bill, he was manipulating everything!"

"WHAT!" I said, shocked by what I was hearing.

"Oh my God, the amount of research and planning was incredible, the intricate detail he went into. I was just about to resign when Don started an investigation. It was a massive scandal and Bill even threatened to kill me, on tape no less. They figured out that he was cooking the books in order to steal from the company; he needed my job to get more. Obviously he got fired but he ended up going to jail and will be there for the next twenty years."

I just shook my head, wondering how in the hell my best friend could have turned into such a monster. "Karen?" I asked, wondering if she was a victim too.

"Gone! The only honorable thing he did, she was going to jail with him and he accepted a plea bargain to save her and the baby. She moved and I've never heard from her."

"My God," I muttered, simply stunned.

"That's why I say, if it wasn't for Tara, I know I wouldn't have made it. She even stayed with me on and off for a while just to make me feel safe."

I leaned back into the bench, speechless at her story. But as I tried to get a handle on all of it, little thoughts started picking at my brain.

"It took months but I finally got things settled and back on track. It's only been the last year or so that I've been able to ... well get on with my life. " She said with finality to her story.

I was still bewildered by her story but that tingle in my mind was starting to get larger, but first up I needed a couple answers. "Cammie, who's Tara?"

She looked at me for a few seconds before recognition came. "Tara is Don's wife, she was just his girlfriend when ... when we split up."

"So she was his girlfriend when we -?" I asked, trying to put this all together.

"They got married right after we, well when it was final I guess." She replied and I could see she was avoiding the word divorce, just as I was. Why we both were doing that was just another little thing that had me puzzled.

Again, the silence enveloped us as we both seemed deep in our own thoughts. As for me, my head was spinning, none of this made any sense. If Don had a girlfriend then why would he have an affair with Cammie, and then Bill, how did I not see my best friend's issues and what did it all mean?

Abruptly I turned towards her and she sees me and turns also. Now for the first time in all of this we are actually facing each other directly. When I look in her eyes, I see the same dull, lifelessness that I saw when we first met. I reached for her hand and she looks at it as if I have a disease but then after looking back into my face she takes it gently.

"Cammie, can I ask you one question?" I asked solemnly, holding her hand tightly.

She looks puzzled for a second and then starts shaking her head. "Mark, we have to leave it, you said it yourself."

"Cammie, please I need your agreement here, one question, look me in the eye and tell me the absolute truth no matter how the chips fall. I swear no more fighting, no accusations, no argument of any kind, just one question that's all I ask of you."

She hesitated for a long time as she searched my eyes. I could see a thousand emotions pass across her face and the internal struggle was clearly weighing on her. Finally she realizes that my eyes haven't left hers and so she nods slightly. "Just one question ... all right." She whispers, so faint I can barely hear her.

I look away at the ocean for what seems like forever as I try to get all of this straight in my head. Even though the idea that my mind is trying to grasp is so far out in left field as to be virtually unbelievable at any level, I still need this one question answered. I turn back to her and muster every bit of courage I have in my body, even though I said it won't matter, now that it is on my lips, I realize that nothing else does. I gently squeeze her hand and ask the question that I am scared to death to have her answer, even though I know that whatever she says, it will cut me deeply.

I took a deep breath and plunged forward. "Did you have an affair, when we were married?"

She should have seen the question coming but I can see it still upsets her. She jerks her hand away and turns back to the ocean and I can see she is thinking about all the implications, all the fights, all the troubles of the past. She's obviously playing it out in her mind and what the ramifications of her answer might be, but deep inside I know she can't possibly fathom what I'm actually considering.

She's stalling but I'm determined not to speak, I'll sit here all day until she answers. I can see she is obviously scared to death to get into this again. So I reach over and cover her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze and I can tell that she makes up her mind. I can see her summoning up her own courage and she turns back and locks her eyes on mine. "As God is my witness Mark, No, I never ever, EVER, had an affair with anyone at any time, at any place during our marriage. I never even kissed another man until after our divorce was final, and I certainly did NOT have sex of ANY kind with one!"

I looked away and after releasing her hand, I just stare off into the ocean. Quickly I rise from the bench and walk forward to the edge of the rocks lining the seashore. I pace back and forth trying to get a handle on my suspicions and one question looms huge, is it even possible?

Could she be lying? Doesn't seem like it, I decided. Her answer was complete, left no wiggle room, not a hint of evasiveness, no play on words. Then could Bill have, no that's not possible, is it? She said the planning HE went through. The intricate way HE manipulated things, it just can't be, can it?

I can tell that she can't understand what is going on with me and so she gets up too. I feel her walking up behind me, I realize that my question has probably made her think. She must be wondering why I asked it now and if I asked her, maybe she deserved to ask the same of me.

"Mark?" I hear her ask to my back, but I recognize in her tone the question she is really asking.

I turn back to her. "No" I answer firmly, "Never."

I can see her frustrated expression and I know she doesn't believe me. She stands straighter and I can see her fists clench and I know that the explosion is imminent. "BUT BILL ... -" and just as the words leave her mouth she stops and stares at me before realization strikes her. Like the waves crashing over the rocks before us, the possibilities hit her and she just stands and stares at me. The seconds pass as all the implications work through her and then the tears start rolling down her cheeks. "Oh God ... oh God no ... oh God, no, NO, NO!" she screams out.

I can see her starting to totter and I guide her back to the bench, both of us sitting again. Taking her hand once more, I speak in as calm of voice as I can manage. "Tell me why you thought I was having an affair?"

It takes her a while to get ahold of herself and I can tell she is assembling her thoughts before she tells the story. "Bill started making little comments about how beautiful your new intern was and how you two got along so well." Her voice cracks as she laid it out for me.

She pulled out a tissue from her pocket and wiped at her eyes as she continued. "At first it didn't bother me but he kept at it, he was so subtle and then it started gnawing at me. Then you and I started growing apart, maybe because it did start getting to me, and that made it eat at me even more. But suddenly he stopped, which at first made me happy but then made me suspicious."

She took a deep breath to gather herself and I just gently held her hand. "Then one day I asked him how the football game was on Monday night and he looked at me strangely and said he was home with Karen. I thought it was a coincidence that she called me a couple days later and in the conversation confirmed it."

I could tell she was getting more upset so I just let her sit for a minute. "It happened a couple more weeks and then when I confronted him, it seemed like I had to drag it out of him. He assured me it was all innocent, though he wasn't really reassuring now that I think about it. He said he would find out what was going on and get back to me. A couple weeks later, he broke the news ... you were having an affair."

"Why did you believe him?" I asked, although I already suspected the answer.

"He had pictures of you going in and out of a hotel with her."

I just stared at her as I tried to figure out how the hell that could be. Suddenly the light went off. "Oh my God Cammie, that was Amy, she was an intern."

"But the hotel?"

"It was just an offsite meeting, in fact it was on a Monday and I told Bill about it because I was going to be late to the bar. He knew in advance and must have taken the pictures that day."

"But the girl, why would an intern go to a meeting?"

"Hell, I don't even remember, who knows after all this time, probably she made the slides, sometimes we took 'em along, and sometimes we didn't, that's why they're interns."

"Oh" She said but I could tell she wasn't totally convinced.

"Cammie, do you remember when we went to the football game that fall?"

"Uhmm, yeah I guess."

"Do you remember that I told you the tickets came from an intern's boyfriend who was this huge linebacker for Nebraska?"

"Vaguely ... okay."

"That was her boyfriend and now her husband! I even went to the wedding. Believe me, if there was one girl on the face of the earth I wasn't going to touch it was her! Cammie, I never had anything to do with her, she was just a kid."

She was shaking her head.

"What else?" I asked.

"Bill made me promise to keep him out of it, he thought you were wrong but you were his best friend."

Now it was my turn to shake my head. "How could we have been so blind?"

"What about you?" She asks as she wipes away the last of the tears.

"Almost the same! Bill kept making comments about you and Don, how close you were, how you were always together, on and on."

"Oh God, I can't believe it!"

"Oh, it gets worse! Then on one of our Monday Football nights, which we were ALWAYS at by the way, I drug it out of him about the affair. He said he would find out for sure and then the next week he had pictures."

"Pictures, pictures of what?"

"You in Don's car and the car parked in our driveway."

"Jesus Fucking Christ, that bastard rented a vette, just like Don's and took me for a ride, I remember him taking pictures."

"But did you go home with him?"

She shook her head violently. "Hell NO, Bill was a friend then but there was no way I would ever go to the house with another man alone."

I thought for a second before it came to me. "You weren't in the picture, just the fucking car! Christ all he had to do was drive to our house and park it there, then take a picture!"

"Mark I swear.. -" She started before I interrupted her.

"Fuck! Bill was late the last night and said you were together at the house. No, wait ... he didn't say it, he just didn't correct me when I said it! I assumed he had taken the picture that night but it would have been dark, the picture he showed me was in the daylight, I was so mad I didn't even think it through, and he took the pictures with him so he wouldn't be implicated but he also didn't want me to look at them when I was calm, man I'm a fucking idiot!" 

"Don't be so hard on yourself, I bought it too." She said with resignation.

"He even convinced me to keep his name out of it as he was worried about his job."

We both finally let go of each other's hand and sat back, pondering the revelations we had each just made.

"I wanted to talk to you so many times." I said quietly, I don't really know if I was talking to her or to myself.

"Why didn't you?"

"You lawyer was crazy, I tried once and the next thing I knew I had a restraining order served to me at work. At work of all places, I just assumed it was your doing!" I spat out, still mad over it, but then I had another thought. "Where did you get her anyway?"

"Bill!"

My head dropped into my hands. "Fuck he was good!"

"What?"

"Bill set me up with my attorney, he must have found two lawyers that absolutely hated each other!"

Cammie sat there stunned again by the amount of planning that Bill had done.

"But the one thing I don't understand is why, how could splitting us up help him?" I asked before it hit me. "Was he after you?"

"No, he never made any move on me, he had a different agenda."

"What could he want then?"

"Simple, as I look back on it now, as soon as it was done, he kept telling me how I needed to move away for a fresh start."

"All of this just to get you out of town!"

"Yes, then he would get my job and he could continue stealing from the company. When I didn't leave he had to start a campaign against me."

"Jesus Christ!"

Again we sat quietly trying to absorb it all before yet another thought came to me. "Did you send me your name change paperwork?"

She looked at me for a moment before it came to her what I was talking about. "No, but I had it at the office, I needed it for HR and he probably copied it."

I just sighed and she picked up on it. "Mark, I never asked for that, my attorney just did it and I went along with it."

I just nodded, not understanding why that seemed to hurt so much.

"So ... Don?" I asked, just feeling the need to get an answer.

Still sniffling, she shook her head. "Mark, Don's a guy, and just like a guy, he made a suggestive comment to me once and I cut him off immediately. He never even got close to being a problem again. When he met Tara, it was love at first sight, they got together and became my best friends. As I said, without them, I would have been lost."

"I guess I just had to ask."

"I understand." She replied quietly.

I leaned back into the bench, trying to make sense of all of this. It had to be true, that's what the facts said, but was it? Could Bill have really pulled this off, could he have been that devious, that calculating? The planning and execution of this deception seemed ... well, just simply beyond belief.

But then I did believe it, I knew for an absolute fact that I was telling the truth even though I guess if I was honest, I still had a little doubt about her. But then it struck me, she had to feel the same. What irony I thought, both of us believing ourselves and questioning the other, which is what made this all work for Bill in the first place!

Okay then, I did believe her, so the next question was obvious. Could I forgive her? Forgive her, but for what? She didn't cheat on me and so the whole moving out, the ugly last fight and the divorce was all just ... well, just nothing. But it was, and therein laid the problem. The things that we said, the things that we did, they did matter. She threw something at me, tried to hurt me.

Thinking of the fight made her words that night suddenly connect. "Go ahead, you'll never hurt me more than you already have!" Now, I understood. I had hurt her because she thought I was having an affair, but what was worse was that at that instant I was about to strike her.

My head drooped a little as I realized that forgiving her was the easy part, but how in the hell was I ever going to forgive myself. My wife, my lover and most of all, my best friend; and I had cursed her and shouted at her like she was a dog and worst of all, I raised my hand to her. No, I didn't strike her, but I wanted to and that made me sick to my stomach!

Why didn't I listen, why didn't I question things, why, why, why? So many why's and yet all answered simply, my male fucking pride. The idea that she would cheat on me hurt my pride and made me furious, so furious that I threw away everything I loved.

The sadness that I felt for the past years now reached its lowest point as I realized the answer to the one question that I was sure we were both contemplating. Does it matter? For the first time since I laid my ring on that picture, I felt tears well up in my eyes as I knew that it really didn't. The words, the fight, the bitter divorce, the hatred that developed in each of us for the other is the final answer to that question. The hardening of the heart just can't be undone. I peeked at her and saw the tears in her eyes and knew that we had both gone through the same analysis and come to the same conclusion, what's done is done and it's best if we both just move on with our lives. Best, yes best for both of us, my mind told me.

I peered out into the distance and I heard her take a deep breath and my stomach clenched as I knew we are about to have our last words ... again.

"Ten years ago we sat here and I was so scared of all the bad things that could come in my future. Everything from not graduating, not getting a job, failing at my chosen profession, all the way up to becoming homeless." I barely heard her voice, soft and full of tears.

I agreed with just a nervous chuckle and a nod of my head.

I felt more than saw her turn to me as she finished. "I never in my worst nightmares saw this one coming."

All I could do is just nod again, what words could I say to make this better. There were none and we both knew it.

I could tell she is becoming more emotional as the seconds pass and she seems to come to a decision and gets to her feet. I barely hit mine as she starts talking. "Mark, just know that I am so very sorry for all this and I hope that the next ten years and beyond is better for you. "

I am still trying to process her words when she turned and walked off. "Same to you Cammie." I mutter at her back and I know how inadequate it is.

As I watch her walk away, I know now that my thoughts of a few minutes ago were so very wrong. I have hit a new low in grief. My mind quickly runs through the same thoughts I just had, the yelling, the screaming, the fight, and the bitter divorce, what's done is done ... isn't it?

My head drops to my chest and I can feel tears in my eyes when suddenly I hear an old friend. It has been silent this whole time while my mind analyzed all the information that came to me in the last couple of hours. Quiet while I heard the story, weighed the evidence and then made a calculated decision to move on with my life. But for some reason, with my eyes on the ground, it spoke as clearly and strongly as it did ten years ago this very day. DO NOT LET HER WALK OUT OF YOUR LIFE, STUPID!

I jerked my head up and saw her still in sight; ten years ago, I took a chance, do I take it again?

YES, my heart screams and I run down the sidewalk after her. She must have heard me because she stops and turns and I pull up in front of her. Her face is covered with tears and her eyes are dim and I want more than anything to bring light back into them.

She is waiting for me to say something but I have gotten here too fast and I'm not prepared. She is standing there with her arms wrapped around her, hugging herself, just waiting. The seconds tick off and it hits me. "Would you like to go out with me tonight? Not like, Hey Baby its spring break lets grab a six pack and PARRRRRTY! But more like ... Cameron, would you accompany me to dinner this evening?"

I see a slight amusement in her face as the recognition comes but then I see her head gently shake side to side and I feel my world start to cave in around me.

"I'm sorry Mark, I can't do it all again." She says quietly.

Once again, my mind has taken control and is flashing 'idiot' at me but at the same time my heart is saying, 'look close, just look close'. I decide that I can't be any more miserable than I am in this moment, so I look deep into her eyes as she is slowly shaking her head.

I catch it! It's a spark, just a tiny one, but I see it. "All what?" I ask cautiously.

The spark grows just a bit. "Buying a new dress, out to dinner, up to my room, not making love until we're sure, the countless dates, the arguments, the great make-up sex, the insecurities, slowly building a relationship, not again, it's all too much" She says and I can see just a hint of a smile through the tears.

"Can't do it, huh?" I say, keeping the conversation going and trying to buy time while I figure out what the hell she's up to!

"No", she answers, "I'm just too old for all of that, I just don't have time!" She says and the light is growing.

"Hmmmm" I say with all the drama I can muster. "We seem to be at an impasse, here!" What does she want? Was I wrong to chase her? If so, why are we still talking?

"Yes we are!" she answers a bit louder, "whatever shall we do?" The tears have stopped and she can't hide the grin that is starting to spread.

I'm rubbing my chin, trying to appear deep in thought but I actually am. Inside a battle is raging, my mind is trying to process information while my heart is telling me to dive in. Suddenly I look up and snap my fingers and add in a loud and dramatic fashion. "I'VE GOT IT!"

She can't contain herself and the tears have stopped and a smile is out, a smile I realize I have missed so badly. "Can I hear this wondrous solution to our dilemma?"

I can't hide it anymore and I know my face has a huge grin. "Of course, we just have to skip over all that drama!"

She shows a bit of surprise and I can tell I have her puzzled. "And where do we skip to?"

I hear caution in my head but I dismiss it, I can tell by her eyes that she is ready to come with me to my room but the words she spoke just seconds ago burn through me. I'm too old for that she said and she's right, we are too old for that and I'll be damned if I am going to let another day pass as we get older!

My mouth is dry and I can just barely talk but I clear my throat the best I can and I hear my voice falter as I speak. "How about to here?"

With those words I seal my fate and go to my knee. I hear her take a huge breath and looking up, I see her eyes flash open wide. This time my voice is strong and clear, I want her to hear how sure I am of these words, because I have never been surer of any in my life. "Cammie, I have loved you since the day on that park bench exactly ten years ago today and even with all that we have been through, I have never been able to let you go. If you give me this one chance to make all this right, I swear that I will love you to the day I die and NOTHING and NO ONE will ever come between us again. Cameron Elizabeth Hamilton, will you marry me ... again?"

I can see the shock in her eyes now and I know that this isn't what she expected. I can see the struggles going on between her mind and her heart, just as mine were a minute ago, but then I see my answer before I hear it. Her eyes go from twinkling to blazing in an instant!

"Yes, yes I will marry you ... again." She says softly.

Leaping to my feet, I grab her and pull her into a deep kiss. The feel of her arms around my neck makes me know that what I have done is right. I pull my mouth away from hers and just hug her to me as tight as I can, I know that I will never let her go ... NEVER, EVER, EVER, AGAIN!

We hug and kiss over and over until I finally pull back a bit. "Let's go home." I say quietly.

"Yes, home" she replies in a whisper as she turns and we join hands and take a couple of steps, but then something stops me.

Slowly and gently, I guide her back to face the small park on the edge of the ocean. I stare at the empty bench. It sits there silently as it did hours before when I sat down on it. I can't help but wonder if such a cold, hard object could ever understand its huge place in our lives.

I look over at my past and future wife, my best friend, and I can tell that she has picked up on my thinking, as she too stares at the lonely bench. Seemingly with her thoughts and mine, once again in perfect harmony, she looks to me and gives me a smile and a subtle nod. I have the answer to the question; I didn't even need to ask it out loud.

"See you in ten years old friend." I say serenely as we turn back around and head off to our future, again. 

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Taken byAddiena©

I feel like I'm being watched. I'm probably crazy but I have the weirdest feeling during my run lately like I'm being watched. I don't know by who or where they are, but I can feel it. I stop mid run and grab the water bottle from my belt. I've been running for some time and it's always the same time, same route. I know I should change it up, but this country life doesn't provide many alternate routes - it's pretty much right, or left. I put my earbuds back in and start off again.

I am soon lost in my pace and my music and it takes me a few seconds before I notice the cargo van that has stopped in front of me. If I had been paying more attention, I would have noticed that there were two men inside. One driving - the other waiting to grab me. Before I even knew what was happening the door swung open and I was grabbed and pulled into the vehicle.

The man who grabbed me used his body weight to force me to lay face down in the van. Terror took hold of me and I began to struggle with everything I had. My captor manoeuvred himself so that his legs wrapped around me, pinning down my arms. He used a bandanna to gag me so that I couldn't scream. I exhausted most of my strength on my run but I used everything in me to try to fight him off, try to get away. His grip on me was fierce and his hold around my limbs unyielding. The van started moving again and even though I struggled, my captor managed to bind my hands behind my back. My legs he left untied, but still pinned down by his weight. I felt cold metal against my back as he demanded in my ear that I shut up if I know what's good for me.

Then he pulled down my pants. I writhed to get away but he was stronger than me and I was helpless to stop him - he pulled them down just past my knees. He then reached up and grabbed a fistful of my hair and forced my head onto the van floor. He used the other hand to ready himself and then, without warning or care, thrust into me. I cried out and tears sprang from my eyes, but he was ruthless and rough - thrusting in and out of me relentlessly, hand still gripped in my hair holding down my head - my cheek scraping against the cold metal floor of the van with every entry. Suddenly, the van went dark. The driver spoke in a hoarse voice and stated that they had reached their destination. My captor pulled out of me and hastily pulled up my pants.

The back doors of the van opened and the driver grabbed me by my hair and forced me to scramble out of the van. The man who just had his way with me laughed and said this was going to be fun. I was lead into a dark, damp room, tears streaming from my eyes. They forced me over to a pole in the middle of the room with long chains sitting in wait at its bottom. The driver of the van told me to kneel. I hesitated and was forced to my knees by the man from the back of the van. The driver looked at me and smiled. Then he told me to be a good girl and keep quiet - that we were in the middle of nowhere and that there was no one around for miles to hear me scream...that my screams would only cause me pain. I shuddered. The gag was removed from my mouth and the driver told me to open wide. He had himself in his hand and he grabbed me by the back of the head. I twisted and turned my head in a refusal to open.

A hard slap came across my face, followed by loud demands and name calling. After the next slap my mouth opened in a scream and was soon muffled by the driver. He thrust himself into my mouth and then mercilessly repeated it over and over. I feel like I can't breathe. I can't stop the gags and I can no longer see because my eyes are so welled with tears. Finally he removes himself and I cough and gasp for air. My relief is all too brief though and he is soon in my mouth again, deeper this time. He holds the back of my head and my chin and thrusts as far as he can. I gag tremendously but do not lose my lunch - I will keep what dignity I can, I silently promise myself. He stays at the back of my throat on the next thrust. I writhe and then look up at him with a plea in my eyes to stop. Instead, he tries to go further. I gag to the tipping point and push him away. I am able to save it and as a reward receive another slap across the face. My mascara has run down my cheeks and my hair has fallen out of its ponytail.

The other man lifts me up to my feet and unbinds my hands. My arms feel sore but I see a ray of light that I might be able to run. I go to push them away and am easily held. Then my clothes are removed from my body. Not ripped or torn because they say I will need to put them back on when we're done. The bandanna that was once used as my gag is now back in place. The cold touch of iron is then felt on my wrists and ankles as I am bound with the clasps at the end of the chains that are attached to the pole. I'm now completely helpless to escape. Gagged and bound by chains to the pole, I am theirs to enjoy. At first they just stare. Then they remove their clothes in the same fashion as mine. They both come up to me, touching me and telling me the awful things they want to do to me. I am once again brought to my knees and the gag is moved from my mouth to cover my eyes. This time I cannot see them coming as they have their way with my mouth. I'm barely able to keep the vomit down as they reach the back of my throat and further.

One of them stops, I don't know which, and I feel him move away. Then I feel him standing behind me. They work together to force me to my hands and then the one behind grabs me by the waist and thrusts himself in me. He groans and comments on my wetness, says that he knows I'm enjoying this. I feel so ashamed. He moves in and out of me while the other moves in and out of my mouth. Then they both pull out and my body tenses as the realization of what is coming next sets in. I can feel him still behind me. It's like he's enjoying watching the fear grow inside me. I try to move my body and squirm away but there is little give in the chains and I find myself face down on the floor instead. He moves on top of me and then thrusts himself into my tight little hole. I scream and a hand covers my mouth. He gives me no time to think and just starts pounding my tight hole. The pain is so intense I think I might pass out and the tears are streaming down my cheeks. Then he stops. They talk for a moment and I feel myself being shifted. The other is sliding under me and I start to shake because I know what's coming.

I try to pound on his chest but the chains holding my wrists soon tighten and my arms are pulled behind my back. I am lifted to my knees and a hand now wraps around my throat. He starts to squeeze and tells me to be quiet. The man under me moves inside me. Then the man behind me bends me face to face with the man below and pushes himself inside my other hole. They are both filling me now and it's almost too much to endure. I cry out and am slapped again. I struggle to get free but what little room I have to move only causes me more slaps until finally I relent enough for them to gain a rhythm. They are both pounding me now, their breaths heavy and their grunts deep and demonic. I can feel myself build and I try to force it away...try to ignore the growing pleasure inside of me.

Soon I am moving too though. The hand wraps around my throat again and tightens. The pace quickens. I feel myself floating in ecstasy and am consumed by both tears and my own grunts and moans. They continue with their abuse until the one behind me lets out a growl and comes deep inside my tight hole. I feel him exit me and pull me up to my knees. The other man has slid out of me too and I feel his heat close in near my face. He thrusts into my mouth and I can taste myself on him. He pushes deep inside my mouth and I struggle to keep everything down. He grabs the back of my head and forces my face up as he releases himself, mixing with the mascara on my cheeks, some sliding into my mouth and dripping off my chin onto my breasts. When he is done he releases my head and I fall to the floor, sore and exhausted.

The floor is hard and damp and cool. Once the tears subside I can hear them moving about. I say nothing and try to plan my escape. The bandanna is still around my eyes and I only have my hearing to guide me. I hear something... the scrape of a chair maybe? I am confused and the fear is again growing inside me. I call out, asking to be let free. Footsteps come my way and I tense, bracing for what I am about to receive. The gag is removed from my eyes and again replaced around my mouth, tightened to ensure I am quiet. I can taste my captor on the gag. As my eyes adjust I can see that the other man, the one from the back of the van, is sitting at a table. The room has a couch and a TV and a table and chairs. There is a little kitchenette off to the side with a small fridge and a mattress nearby on the floor. It's a Friday night, barely 8 pm and I realize with a sinking feeling that I'm not going anywhere soon.

This is not even close to being over.

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byAddiena© 2 comments/ 2

The Presentation Written by Dawn Added on Wed, 06-May-2009

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CURIOSITY

"This is my favourite Aretha song," said Alison, turning up the volume on the hi-fi. "I prefer it to Say A Little Prayer, don't you?"

"You haven't answered my question," said Janet sharply.

"I know," Alison replied, her voice fading to a soft whisper. "I'm not sure about the whole idea."

"But you promised," Janet protested, flicking a strand of dark hair from her face as she shifted position on the bed. She sat barefoot and cross-legged on the patterned quilt, her hazel eyes staring intently at Alison.

The two girls were alone in Alison's small room in the dormitory block, spending an easy Sunday afternoon drinking juice and listening to CDs of old blues songs. Outside on the green lawn a pair of tiny birds flitted around in the sunshine, but no students seemed to be venturing into the daylight.

"Everybody is sleeping late today," Alison observed. "I reckon the whole university has a hangover after last night." She chuckled quietly to herself, toying with her blonde ponytail as she gazed out of the window. "Hell, I never drank so much beer in my whole life. What time did you leave the bar?"

"Two-thirty," Janet replied, pulling a stray denim thread from her jeans.

"Late enough, I guess," said Alison. "Did you go back to your room?"

Janet shook her head and grinned. "No, I went back to D Block with Paul and Craig."

"You had sex with Craig?"

Again Janet shook her head, her shiny mane of black hair bobbing around her shoulders. "No, with Paul. But I didn't enjoy it much, because I felt so distracted."

"You were too drunk to concentrate?"

"No. I was thinking about you."

Alison gave no response, though her cheeks blushed and she bit her lower lip anxiously.

"You still haven't answered my question, girl," said Janet. "I'm starting to get impatient and angry."

Alison walked away from the window and sat on the bed, wriggling her bare toes into the sheepskin rug that her parents had given as a leaving present. The red miniskirt she wore had also been a gift, bought specially by her boyfriend back home in the hope that she would not forget him when she went away to college. But she had used their parting as an opportunity to make a fresh start, sending him a "sorry - it's over" email at the end of her first week at university. She had no qualms, however, about wearing the skirt he had purchased for her, nor the matching sleeveless red T-shirt that his mother had added to the gift.

"There's no need to get angry," said Alison, after a long awkward silence. "Last night we were both quite drunk, and we said some things that maybe we now regret."

Janet gave a deep frustrated sigh and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. "Ah, so you were lying when you said you wanted to sleep with a woman? It was nothing more than beer-talk and bullshit."

"I didn't tell any lies," Alison retorted, feeling hurt and offended by the accusation. "I meant every word of it. I'm still curious to see what it would be like to have sex with a girl, but I'm not sure if I want to rush into anything right now."

Janet shuffled closer to her friend, so close that her denim-clad knees brushed Alison's bare arm. At first Alison seemed to flinch, but after a moment of doubt she relaxed, leaning slightly against Janet's crossed legs with her hip pressing gently against them.

"Last night we agreed to experiment together," Janet recalled. "We drained our bottles at the bar and promised each other that today we would try some girly fun, to satisfy our curiosity, to see if we might even enjoy it. Do you not remember what you told me, just before Craig and Paul appeared?"

Alison nodded slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on the sheepskin rug. "I said that you are my best friend."

"You also swore that you love me," said Janet. "And that you reckon I look sexy and cute. Then I returned the compliment. But it was you who started talking about how you wanted to sleep with a woman, and it was your idea that we should try it in your room today. But maybe I don't seem so desirable when we're both sober on a Sunday afternoon?"

Alison shrugged, lifting her head to look into her friend's eyes. "I'm really nervous about trying it," she explained. "It seems a really big step to take, just to satisfy our curiosity. Maybe we're too young to take that step. Next year we'll both be nineteen, so perhaps we could see how we feel about it after our birthdays?"

"That's a pile of crap, and you know it," Janet replied, her eyes flashing angrily. Then her tone softened, and she reached out to caress her friend's forearm. "Who says a couple of eighteen year old girls aren't mature enough to experiment with some harmless bisexual lovemaking? I can certainly handle it, and I reckon you can too."

"Oh, God!" hissed Alison. "This is all too scary for me. What if it goes horribly wrong, and we start hating each other afterwards?"

Janet continued to stroke Alison's arm, moving her fingers up to where the red T-shirt curved around the shoulder. "What can possibly go wrong?" she objected. Then, seeing the uncertainty in Alison's face, she added: "If it's such a big deal, we could maybe have a kind of compromise, to make it less scary. Perhaps we should leave our underwear on?"

Alison's expression brightened somewhat, and a relieved smile curled across her mouth. "Neat idea! We'll keep our bras and panties on, but take everything else off."

Janet clicked her tongue and frowned, trailing her fingers tenderly around her friend's neck, beneath the silky blonde ponytail. "I really do think we should be topless. I'm wearing a lacy bra, which might scratch your skin when we snuggle close together."

"OK," whispered Alison. "You undress first."

Janet sprang from the bed and stood in front of Alison, smiling down at her friend's upturned face and feeling an overpowering desire to kiss her mouth.

"Take off the T-shirt," said Alison, her blue eyes gleaming eagerly. "That's it, baby, nice and slow. You were right about that prickly bra."

Janet flung the T-shirt away and cupped her hands around the underside of her bra-cups, lifting her pert breasts in imitation of the posing models she used to see in her brother's softporn magazines. The sight aroused Alison, who started tugging at the zipper on her friend's jeans.

"I'll bet your panties match your bra," she ventured, licking her lips in anticipation. "White lace, in a tanga style, or maybe a skimpy thong?"

"Your guesses are wrong," said Janet, inhaling deeply as her jeans were pulled down to her ankles. "You got the colour right, but I always wear cotton in the daytime. Lace is too itchy. And so is a thong, so I never wear one. These sporty high-legs are far more comfortable."

Alison whistled softly between her teeth, placing her hands on her friend's slim hips and hoisting up the waistand of the white panties.

"You're so gorgeous and sexy!" she observed, pulling Janet closer and gazing up into her soft brown eyes. "I can see why Craig and Paul are always trying to get you into bed. If I was a guy, I'd have a hard-on every time I saw you in these cute cotton pants. They make you look like an innocent schoolgirl."

Breathless with excitement, she parted her lips to receive Janet's kiss. The brunette lowered her head, her long dark hair brushing Alison's cheeks and tickling her neck. To Alison, the kiss felt incredible and produced so many wonderfully dizzy sensations that she almost fainted. Janet's lips and tongue had a strangely soft texture, like satin rose petals or ribbons of the smoothest velvet. Her kiss was as gentle as a rustle of butterfly wings, filling Alison's senses like a sudden gulp of strong wine.

When eventually their mouths parted, Alison took a deep satisfied breath and coughed, feeling a dryness in her throat. "You've definitely kissed a girl before," she said.

"Not true," came the reply, as Janet straightened her spine and unhooked her bra. "This is my first time."

Alison whistled softly when the lace bra tumbled to the floor, the sight of her friend's bare breasts making her head spin with desire. Curling her fingers around Janet's slender waist, she placed her hands on the cotton-clad buttocks and gently squeezed, feeling the flesh firm and warm beneath the tight white material. Then, using her thumbs, she traced the shape of the panties from hip to gusset, following the sewn trim over the curve of Janet's ass to where it vanished into the hot secret places under her body.

"Your bottom feels amazing," said Alison. "I wish mine felt so pert!"

"Let's find out how it feels," Janet replied, caressing Alison's ears and stroking the blonde ponytail. "Swap positions!"

The girls quickly swapped places, Janet sitting on the bed with her hands around Alison's waist. For a brief instant Alison felt a twinge of her former anxiety, and she bit her lower lip as though having second thoughts about the experiment. But her hesitation dissipated as soon as she felt Janet's fingers lifting the hem of her red miniskirt, and a bout of giggling seized her.

"Hey!" she cried. "Let me take this T-shirt off before you start pulling at my skirt."

"I can't help it," Janet replied, her eyes wide with fascination as she raised the hem around her friend's hips. "I'm really curious to see what colour panties you're wearing." Then her smile broadened, and she laughed aloud. "How sweet!" she added. "Pink cotton, with lots of tiny blue stars! Are they from your Barbie playset?"

"Nasty bitch!" Alison chuckled, retrieving her skirt and pushing the hem back into place. "These pants were a birthday present from my grandmother."

"Which birthday?" asked Janet, still tugging at the hem. "Your ninth, perhaps?"

"My eighteenth, actually!" Alison retorted, stepping backwards a pace. "Less than six months ago. So, stop making fun of my underwear, especially as yours doesn't even match."

To reinforce her point, she pulled the red T-shirt over her head and flung it aside, revealing a pink cotton bra that did indeed match her panties. The lace-trimmed cups snugly clasped her small breasts, but the garment seemed rather undersized, and her nipples were partly visible above the trim.

"Take it off, then," ordered Janet, pulling Alison closer. "Let me see your tits."

"There isn't much to see," Alison muttered sadly, as she removed her bra. But she gasped when Janet's hands crawled up her body to gently caress her breasts. The sensation of a girl's fingers massaging her nipples was almost too much to bear, and her knees began to quiver like balls of jelly.

"They're getting hard," Janet observed, placing a tender kiss on Alison's navel and nuzzling her chin against the front of the pink panties. "Your little nipples, I mean. I can't describe how wonderful they feel when I touch them."

"Shit! I'm falling over!" said Alison. "I need to get on the bed."

She toppled forward to crawl onto the quilt, where she turned around and lay flat on her back. Janet clambered up into a kneeling position, crouching between her friend's legs while slowly stroking the gusset of her own underwear.

"My panties are drenched," she confessed, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "It feels like a tiny dribble of piss, but I know it's definitely something else."

"Do I turn you on?" Alison inquired, smiling at the view of Janet's gentle masturbation and feeling intensely aroused when she saw a damp stain on the crotch of the white panties.

Janet nodded, her nostrils flaring as she rubbed her forefinger along the length of her gusset. "My clit is tingling like crazy and feels as stiff as a pencil," she said softly. "It's nearly pushing through the wet cotton, and it's all because of you."

"Good," whispered Alison. "But what happens next?"

Janet shrugged, shaking her black hair and lifting her eyebrows. "Dunno. I'm as much a novice as you with this lesbo stuff. Maybe we could caress each other's pussies for a while?"

"But we still keep our panties on?" Alison queried, a hint of panic flickering in her blue eyes.

"Yes, of course. Now, you just lie there while I make a start."

"Oh God!" Alison hissed through tightly-clenched teeth. "That feels really weird."

"Just relax," whispered Janet, kneeling forward with her right hand resting on her friend's crotch. The pink cotton felt so smooth, so tight, so soft and warm beneath her palm, her fingertips detecting the bristly mat of Alison's pubic hair through the thin material. "Does that feel OK?" she added.

"It feels really nice," came the reply. "Move your hand around a bit. That's it, nice and slowly. Oh fuck! Oh fuck!"

"Do you like it when I put my finger there?" asked Janet. "Like that, nestling between your pussy lips? Can you feel it, even through your underwear?"

Alison made no response, but her head twisted aside and she buried her face in a fold of the quilt. Her cheeks burned a deep shade of crimson and her hands clawed at the bed. Wayward blonde strands trailed across her face and her ponytail curled around her neck like a straggly piece of rope.

With her right hand Janet continued to stroke Alison's vagina through the pink panties, while her left caressed her own underwear until the white cotton at her crotch felt slick and wet in her writhing fingers.

"Oh hell, I think I'm going to climax," Alison muttered, her words stifled by the quilt.

"Me too!" Janet replied hoarsely, feeling a trickle of sweat run swiftly down the left side of her face.

Alison took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled, the air whistling softly through her pursed lips as the first wave of orgasm enveloped her body. The sensation seemed familiar, like the satisfaction she used to receive from her ex-boyfriend's cock, but it arrived with a strange otherworldly quality which she found surprising and puzzling. She giggled at each ecstatic pulse, her spine arching upwards when the last wave pulsed through her veins.

"God! That felt amazing!" she hissed, her limbs twitching as she sank into the bed. "Nobody has ever touched my cunt like that before. Not even me!" Then, seeing Janet still kneeling between her legs, she smiled and added: "Now it's your turn."

"Hurry up, then," Janet replied, leaning backwards to lie on the bed with her knees raised and her legs apart. "I'm absolutely desperate to come."

"I won't caress your pussy," said Alison.

"Why not?"

"Because I have a better idea," came the reply.

"Wow!" exclaimed Janet, her eyes wide with delight when she saw Alison crouching like a cat. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Alison nodded, licking her lips as she grinned. Shuffling along on her elbows, with her ass in the air, she brought her face close to her friend's crotch. Janet enjoyed the vision of Alison's neat round buttocks squirming as she moved, the panties stretching so tightly that they seemed like a thin layer of pink paint sprayed on the firm flesh.

"Sexy girl." Janet whispered, her long eyelashes fluttering when she felt hot breath against her inner thighs.

Alison stared at Janet's crotch for a while, her eyes discerning the outlined shape of Janet's vagina through the white panties. Beneath the thin material she saw the faint shadow of her friend's pubic hair, a perfect dark triangle with edges defined by a recent bikini-wax. The vision was so appealing that Alison felt a sudden burning urge to kiss it, so she pouted her lips and placed a small delicate kiss one inch above the slit, feeling the trimmed bristles prickling the tip of her nose through the white cotton.

Janet reacted by moaning softly, her hands crawling onto Alison's head to stroke the blonde ponytail. Alison inhaled her friend's scent, savouring a strong feminine odour that was like and yet unlike her own.

"Did you wear sweaty these panties yesterday?" she asked, in a gently mocking tone.

"Cheeky slut!" hissed Janet, tugging playfully at the ponytail. "Stop teasing."

"It's my revenge," Alison explained, blowing gently on Janet's mound. "Revenge for your jibe about my Barbie underwear."

Janet chuckled, grabbing Alison's head in both hands and pulling her face inwards. Alison gave a muffled giggle, before her tongue poked out to lick up and down Janet's slit. Even through the cotton Janet felt the sensation as intensely as if her cunt was bare, especially when the material became slick with a cocktail of her own juices and Alison's saliva. The blonde girl's tongue worked faster and faster, tracing quick circles around the edge of Janet's swollen labia while darting into the groove between them, pushing the wet gusset deep into the slit. For Alison, the crowning moment came when the tip of her tongue found her friend's stiffening clitoris, a nodule of firm flesh pushing upward beneath the panties. Having discovered it, she diverted all her attention to it, until Janet lay writhing and purring like a kitten.

Boldly, but only after mustering all her courage, Alison wormed a finger along Janet's gusset, exploring beneath her body to where the underwear swept around to her ass. Alison felt an overwhelming curiosity to see Janet's reaction to anal stimulation, so she pressed her fingertip into the cotton at the place where she guessed her friend's rear hole to be located. The guess was accurate, the touch bringing a quivering gasp from Janet.

"Does that feel nice?" asked Alison, briefly withdrawing her mouth from Janet's crotch.

"Amazing," whispered Janet. "It's like a lovely tingling in two places at the same time. Don't stop!"

"I won't," said Alison, quickly resuming her task.

Two minutes passed before Janet surrendered to orgasm, her climax erupting with such vigour that she yelled a muffled shriek into the quilt. Her whole body shuddered, the sensations intensifying when Alison pulled the waistband of the white panties so high and taut that the drenched gusset clasped Janet's cunt like a vice, compressing the sensitive flesh. An exquisite pain shot through her throbbing clit, doubling and trebling the power of the orgasm, making her cry out loudly.

"Hush, baby!" hissed Alison, kissing a trickle of sweat from her friend's taut stomach. "You'll wake everybody up."

As if to prove the point, footsteps sounded in the corridor, followed by an urgent tap on the door.

"You OK, Ali?" a female voice inquired anxiously.

"Yes, I'm fine!" Alison answered, sitting upright suddenly. "Just having a laugh with my drinking buddy from G Block."

The footsteps faded away into a brief silence, which the two girls quickly shattered in a mutual fit of giggling. Janet rolled onto her side, burying her face in the quilt and curling her knees under her chin.

"Shit, that was so embarrassing!" Alison chuckled. "Your scream was so obviously sexual. I should have said I was fucking some guy."

"Or, we could be totally honest," suggested Janet, peering with one hazel eye over the edge of the quilt. Her dark hair hung in a tousled mane around her shoulders and strayed across her face.

"No way!" replied Alison. "I'm not telling anyone about this. People just wouldn't understand."

"It doesn't mean you and me are lesbians or anything," said Janet.

Alison smiled, reaching down to caress her friend's feet and toes. "Maybe that's precisely what it means," she whispered.

THE END

Copyright © 2005 Jenny Kay

Go back to Lesbian Panty Stories

Satellite Installation byroddymac99©

Mickey looked at the job card in his hand. "So, it's a two room set up yes? Which rooms exactly?"

The middle-aged lady nodded. "The lounge, just through there," she answered, pointing to the door across the hallway "and in my daughter's room, upstairs, first room on the right. I need to get to work but Amy is in her room and if you need anything just shout her. Do you need anything more from me?"

Mickey shook his head. "No, should be fine. Seems like a nice easy job to start the week" he smiled. He picked up his tool case and walked to the lounge. "By the time you get home, you'll have your great satellite TV up and running. Maybe even treat yourself to a nice bottle of wine and a movie tonight Mrs Renshaw."

"Great" she replied, smiling. "I've been meaning to get satellite for ages. Probably won't see much of Amy once she has it in her room but that might be a good thing!" She picked up her bag and keys and headed to the door. "Bye then."

Mickey nodded, waited until she had left then went into the lounge. He was in a good mood. This would be a simple install and he didn't have another appointment until nearly lunchtime so he'd have time to stop off at the nearby shopping centre and have a browse at the new sports shop. He started to unpack the equipment, laying out everything he needed in the methodical fashion he followed for such jobs. His mind wandered to the sports shop. His girlfriend hated the fact he was sports mad and she seemed determined to curtail his passion for football. Maybe a new team shirt would be a devious thing to buy, he grinned to himself.

He was 28, and had played football for over twenty years. Not professionally, or indeed even to a high amateur status, but he loved playing for his local team; the training, the games, the team spirit. Becky wasn't so keen though. He sighed, knowing in his heart that engagement probably wasn't that far off, marriage thereafter...god, even kids perhaps. He could see his football time diminishing before his eyes.

They had been together five years now. It had been fun, no question. But it was getting serious now. He sighed again; maybe this was just how things went.

"Oh well, on with the job" he muttered to himself. The door behind him opened and he turned to see a young girl smiling at him.

"Hey there" she said.

"Oh, hi," he replied, smiling out of politeness and also at the attractiveness of the girl. She was about 5'5" with long, auburn hair that fell over her shoulders. She was wearing jeans and a white tank top that showed off her slender bare arms. He figured she was about 18. "You must be...ummm...Amy yeh?" he asked. She nodded. "So, you are getting satellite in your room huh? Lucky girl."

Amy grinned. "Yeh, been begging for it for, like, ages" she giggled.

Mickey smiled. "Well, I need to go outside now and put up the dish, then I'll do this room and then yours. Within an hour you'll have all the channels you'll ever need."

"Awesome," she replied, beaming a smile. "I'll be upstairs if you need anything."

Mickey nodded. Amy grinned, she bit her lip subtly, flashed him a smile then turned and left the room. He couldn't help but stare at her tight, firm bum, his mind instantly recalling that Becky used to have a bum like that. It was only then he saw the mirror on the other side of the hall and that Amy was grinning at his reflection. He blinked, realised he'd been caught, then quickly turned away to pick up his equipment bag, feeling sheepish and embarrassed.

It took him half an hour to connect the dish to the side of the house. The cabling went without a problem and within another fifteen minutes he'd set up the box in the lounge, tested it and satisfied himself all was working. He prided himself on his professionalism, and was pleased how neat the job was. He gathered his bag and started up the stairs. He wondered if the pretty girl would stay in the room while he connected it, and couldn't help smile at the prospect. Perk of the job he surmised.

He reached the landing, and stepped towards the first door on the right. It was closed, but he could hear music playing. His hands were full with his kit bag and the box for the room, so he pressed against the door, balanced the box on his knee and tapped the door. There was no response so he pushed down the handle and with his foot pushed the door open. "Hey there, it's me" he announced loudly, shifting to get the box back properly into his hands before stepping forward. As he looked up, his eyes widened and he felt his jaw drop in shock.

Amy had turned to face him, her hands covering her naked breasts. Mickey blinked. He saw the white tank top on the floor by his feet. Amy was a few metres beyond him, at the edge of her bed.

"Oh god, sorry" she exclaimed "I...I didn't hear you knock."

"I...I did" he protested, feeling his cheeks redden. "I...I didn't realise you were...you were..." he nodded towards her.

She grinned. "Didn't realise I was getting changed?" she finished his sentence. She giggled. "Bad timing huh?"

Mickey nodded. He realised he was staring at her chest. Her breasts were small enough that her hands covered them, but it was clear they were firm and round. As he lowered his eyes, he took in her slim figure; her just visible rib cage, her tight midriff. He was just thankful she had her jeans on.

"I...I'm really sorry" he mumbled, shuffling his feet. "I'll give you a minute." He looked back at her and tried to compose himself. "I should have shouted or something" he added, forcing a smile to try and diffuse this very uncomfortable situation. He turned to leave the room, but in his hurry felt the box slipping from his grasp. He cursed as he lost his hold on it, clumsily tried to rescue it but proceeded in juggling it with one hand. He let his bag drop and then used his now free left hand to try and hold the box, but fumbled it and then found himself on his knees preventing the expensive box from crashing to the ground.

Amy laughed. "Whoa...you ok there?" she giggled. Mickey looked up at her from his knees, feeling his cheeks flush. "I...yes, yes I'm fine" he stuttered, astonished at how this situation was turning him into a fumbling, mumbling idiot. "I really shouldn't, ummm...try to carry so much," he added, in a tone that to his own ears sounded slightly pathetic.

Amy giggled again. "I'm sorry, you probably weren't expecting me to half undressed huh?"

Mickey looked at her. "Well, no, I certainly wasn't."

She grinned. "You must see all sorts, being in and out of people's houses though, huh?"

Mickey shrugged. "Well, I guess, but never young girls without...ummm...you know...no top on." He knew he must be blushing bright red.

Amy bit her lip. "Oh...just desperate housewives then?" she giggled. Mickey found himself chuckle. He realised he was shocked not just by the fact she was topless, albeit still covering herself with her hands, but that she seemed totally unfazed by the situation.

"Well, to be honest, not really" she replied.

Amy frowned. "Really? I'd have thought bored housewives would love having a fit bloke like you in their house," she said, matter-of-factly.

Mickey grinned. "Fit bloke? That's...ummm...very kind of you." He was shocked by her confidence. He realised he was still on his knees, so he started to raise himself up, holding the box in both hands. He smiled; after all, it was good to think that a teen girl still thought he was attractive. He wondered how he could subtly let Becky know he'd been complimented as such.

He rose to his full height, feeling himself start to relax. Amy was clearly unruffled by the situation, so why should he be? It had been an honest mistake, barging into her room. He would now just gather his things, wait until she was dressed then get on with the job, maybe banking the picture of Amy in his mind for a 'quiet' moment later, and of course be satisfied that he was regarded as 'fit.' He could feel his heart thumping, and a strange nervous twinge in his stomach, but he took a breath as he started to relax. What happened next shocked him to the core though.

Amy stretched out her arms, uncovering her firm 34B breasts. "Want me to take that box, save you from dropping it again?" she said.

Mickey's jaw dropped again. He couldn't help but stare at her naked breasts. "I...ummm...you...I mean...fuck..." was all he could mutter. Amy grinned, her arms still outstretched.

Mickey shuffled his feet, hearing nothing but his heartbeat thumping. "Dont...dont you want...I mean, shouldn't you...you know...c...cover yourself up?" he mumbled, averting his gaze.

"Oh, sorry," she replied, giggling. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" Mickey raised his eyes, concentrating hard on looking at her face, and her face only.

"Well...just...a little" he replied, fully aware he was feeling very uncomfortable. "Aren't...you?" he asked, honestly shocked at how brazen she was being.

Amy shrugged "ummm...not really. You've seen a pair of tits before haven't you?"

Mickey gulped. "Well, of course, but not...you know...like...certainly not a...a young girl like you. Well, not since I was your age anyway."

She laughed. "You haven't seen a pair of tits since you were 18?" she quizzed.

Mickey blinked. "No, that's not what I meant" he retorted. "I mean, I've seen ti...boo...breasts" he stuttered. "My girlfriends," he added meekly.

Amy giggled again. "You're not married then?"

Mickey shook his head. She seemed so cool, so confident. She still had her arms outstretched. Again, he found his gaze was on her breasts. He blinked again. Then inhaled sharply as Amy took a step forward and gently took the box from his hands. She held it at her midriff; her breasts still in plain view, less than a metre in front of him. "How old are you?" she asked.

Mickey took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. "What? Oh, I'm 28," he replied.

Amy nodded. "And your girlfriend? How old is she?"

Mickey swallowed, though his mouth was bone dry. "Umm..she's 29. Why do you ask?"

Amy shrugged. "Has she got nice tits?"

Mickey frowned. "Well, I..I guess."

Amy furled her brow, looking at him inquisitively. "You guess?" she quizzed. "She either has or hasn't."

Mickey shook his head "OK, well, yes, she has great...ummmm..."

"Tits," Amy completed his sentence, emphasising the word. "Are they big?"

Mickey blinked again. His mind reeled. Was she really asking him about Becky's tits? He answered her honestly. "Well, yes, they are pretty big. Why, why do you ask?"

Amy shrugged again "No reason." She frowned. "I think mine are a bit small, don't you think?"

Mickey looked at her. She had a genuine expression on her face. He looked at her breasts. They were firm, with small aureolas and pert nipples. He felt himself inhale, then realised his cock was beginning to harden. He swallowed again.

"I...well...no...not really...they look...ummmm fine." Amy frowned. "I mean, amazing...really, they look amazing." He took another deep breath.

Amy smiled, "awww thanks" she said cheerily, then turned and put the box down on her bed.

Mickey found himself looking at her pert bum as she bent over and he shifted uncomfortably as he felt his cock continue to stiffen. "How big are your girlfriends?" she continued, straightening up and turning back to face him. "What size are they?" She had such a genuinely inquisitive expression he couldn't help but answer honestly.

"Ummm, 36C" he answered, averting his gaze again.

"Big" she said "You like big tits then?"

Mickey felt his stomach tingle nervously at her questions. "Well...I suppose so" he answered "but..." he ran his hand through his hair, "look, I really need to get on with this job so..."

Amy looked at him, she bit her lip "So?"

Mickey cleared his throat. "So, maybe you should...you know...cover up and I'll get on with installing your satellite box."

Amy looked at him. Her eyes narrowed. "I was actually getting changed" she said. Her hands moved to the top button of her jeans. Mickey felt everything go into slow motion, and before he could protest, she undid the button.

"W...what are you doing?" he stuttered.

Amy stared straight at him as her hands undid the remaining two buttons. "I'm getting on with getting changed" she grinned, before sliding the jeans down off her hips.

Mickey gasped. His eyes widened as he watched her pull her jeans down, revealing her slender hips, firm, slender thighs then, to his further shock as he realised she wasn't wearing panties and failed to avert his gaze, her perfectly smooth mound. He felt his cock instantly harden. In a fluid movement, she bent down and pulled her jeans off, stepping aside and straightening to stand fully naked in front of him.

Mickey couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Oh fuck" was all he could mutter. Her body was amazing. She was so slim; almost skinny. His eyes took in her lightly tanned, tight skin and the perfect gap at the top of her thighs. He shifted his stance. "Ummm...I...really...work...to do" he mumbled, rooted to the spot.

Amy grinned, and took the two short steps to stand directly in front of him. Her hands suddenly reached out and she placed them on his belt.

"W...what are you doing?" he stammered, feeling his body tensing. She ignored him, and he felt her unbuckling his belt. "Look...I...I've got a girlfriend" he protested, willing himself to take a step backwards.

"So you've said," she grinned, her hands quickly unbuckling the belt and moving to his top button of his trousers. "With massive tits," she added.

Mickey groaned. He wiped his hand across his dry lips and shuffled backwards. Amy frowned. "Oh, is that it? Are my tits not big enough for you?"

Mickey shook his head. "God no" he blurted out. "I mean, no...listen...fuck...you...you are...seriously...well...wow." He winced, realising he probably sounded very lame. "It's just...this..well, this is very...ummm...inappropriate." Lame. "You...you're 18...and...I'm...well, ten years older than you...and...you...you're mum is my customer...and I've got a girlfriend."

Amy just grinned at him as he rambled. "Am I making you really uncomfortable?" she asked.

Mickey nodded.

She shuffled forwards and her hands quickly undid his trouser button before slipping down to the zip. "Am I making you...ummm...hard?" she continued, her voice a whisper.

Mickey gulped. He was fully erect, which she instantly discovered as he felt his zip fully open and her little hand press against the bulge in his boxer shorts. "Oooooh, I am making you hard," she giggled.

Mickey closed his eyes. This was unbelievable. He couldn't believe the situation he was in. He'd been doing this job for five years and never come close to anything like this. In his personal life, he'd never come close to a situation like this. He pictured Becky. That would bring him to his senses. He pictured her face, feeling it would give him the strength to take control, break away from this brazen young girl, politely and maturely sort it out. But the picture of Becky was of her scowling face, the one that went with her demands for him to give up his football, the moaning voice that instructed him not to spend so much time with footy mates.

He gasped as he felt Amy tugging down his boxers shorts, feeling his erect cock springing free. He heard her little giggle as her hand grasped his cock and he heard his own groan as she gently started to stroke it. He opened his eyes and looked down. His cock wasn't huge, maybe six inches fully erect and about an inch and a half in diameter, but it looked big in Amy's little hand.

"This...shouldn't be happening" he said, trying to convince himself to pull himself away.

Amy grinned, then to his further surprise, squatted down. "So tell me to stop," she smiled, looking up at him as he watched his cock being pulled into her open mouth. He groaned as he felt her lips clasp around his shaft. He inhaled sharply as her hand pulled his foreskin back and he felt her tongue flick against his cock head. "Ohhhhh fuckkkkkkk" he exclaimed, knowing he couldn't tell her to stop.

She started to slowly bob her head, her warm mouth gradually engulfing his cock. He realised he was tense; his stomach was churning. She kept moving her mouth up and down his shaft, her hand firmly gripping the base of his cock and tugging gently, her tongue pressed against his head. She started to suck and he involuntarily let out a low moan as the sensation and realisation of the blowjob took over him. He pictured Becky again, that scowling face when he begged her for a blowjob and she refused; the look of disgust on her face on the odd occasion she did treat him and he came in her mouth. He realised he was rocking his hips and he looked down to see that most of his cock was inside Amy's mouth. It felt amazing, and he moaned again "ohhh fuck that's awesome" he gasped, and he saw a small smile curl on the edge of her lips.

He looked away from her, conscious that the vision of this teen girl was so incredible it might take him over the edge. His gaze fell on the full length mirror at the side of her room, and he found himself staring at the reflection of Amy squatted in front of him, hand wanking his cock in her mouth, auburn hair falling over her slender shoulders, those beautiful firm tits, tight stomach, those firm slim legs. Her body was amazing, so firm, so tight, so young. He heard her gag as she took too much of him in her mouth, feeling his cock head touch the back of her throat. He realised he was rocking his hips more vigourously. Her hand was gripping tighter, wanking him rapidly, her head bobbing in time, her cheeks contracting as she sucked him.

"Ohhhh shit," he gasped as he took it all in. 'Don't think about it' he told himself, but still he stared at the mirror. "Oh fuck that's amazing" he groaned. Amy's free hand suddenly clasped his ball sac. He gasped, and as he looked down her eyes met his, sparkling with what he read as naughtiness...that little smile on her lips. Suddenly, he realised he was about to climax.

He groaned, knowing he should pull free, but her mouth was locked on his cock. His brain was scrambled. She'd surely be unimpressed at him cumming so quickly. She was naked...he realised she probably wanted more...she maybe wanted him to fuck her! That thought sent a shockwave through him...oh my god...she wants me to fuck her. 'This little seventeen year old babe wants me to fuck her' he thought. 'And shit...I'm going to cum now.'

Mickey felt his body tense "Shiiit..." he gasped "I...I'm going to cum!" He tried to pull himself free but Amy had a firm grip with her hand and mouth. He looked down at her, and she looked straight back up at him. "Seriously," he panted, "oh fuck...I'm going to cum." He felt himself tighten.

Amy kept her mouth over his cock for a moment longer, then just as he arched his back and released a guttural groan, she pull her head back, freeing his cock from her mouth. Her hand continued to tug on his shaft as Mickey groaned "fuuuuucccckkkkk" and a spurt of cum streaked over her face, a thin rope of sticky cum running from her forehead down over the bridge of her nose and across her lips. He shuddered again and another spurt landed on the top of her head and across her right eye, then another on her cheek. She moved closer and the final spurts of his orgasm landed on her chin and the top of her chest between her tits.

Mickey was panting furiously as she squeezed the final drops out, his cum dripping onto her thighs. "Wow...that was a lot" she giggled, before taking his cock back into her mouth to lick it clean.

Mickey felt like his head was going to explode. He hadn't cum that hard in ages, and Becky most certainly would not have let him spurt over her face. He took a step backwards, feeling his legs shaking as he looked at Amy, squatted in front of him with his cum in her hair, on her brow, eye, cheek, nose and chin. He could see some glistening on her chest and her thighs. "That...that was incredible" he said, wiping his face with his hand. "Fucking incredible. "

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