Ramona the Moaner bydoctorwes©

 

The following story took place during the early 1980s at a not-to-be-named university in upstate New York. It is part fiction and part real, but I'll leave it up to the reader to determine which is which. Please note that all characters were over 18 years of age at the time that this transpired.

When I was in college I had a good friend, Maurice, who came from Boston but whose family was originally from Montreal. He was a crazy guy and we often said that he would screw anything that walked. Anyway towards the end of our junior year he began dating a terrific looking girl named Ramona. When I say terrific looking I mean pretty face, great body, and absolutely an amazing pair of boobs.

It was a couple of weeks before the fraternity initiation formal, a very upscale event that followed the initiation when the pledges actually became brothers. A couple of us were on the event committee and talking one day.

"Ramoner is really looking forward to the inish," said Maurice.

Not hearing him exactly right, I could have sworn that he said "The moaner" and said who are you bringing?"

"You know, Ramoner," he repeated.

Anyway, that was the start of it because from that day forward the guys referred to Maurice's girlfriend as "the moaner." At first it sort of pissed him off, but once he realized that it was all in good fun and that the rest of us were not about to change our ways, he accepted the nickname.

It was about the time of the inish formal that we learned that Maurice had not yet gotten into Ramona's pants, but we all more or less knew that that was about to change. Inish formals are really classy events . . . well, for the most part. The guys are dressed in tuxedoes and the women go all out with sexy dresses, new hair styles, and the latest makeup. In some respects it's a bit like a more grownup version of your senior prom in that there is also legitimate alcohol.

There were four of us brothers who hung out together: Maurice, Monster, Tush (really, that's what we called him), and me. Just for the record my frat name was "Sights" because as a civil engineering student I was always out in the field doing surveys with a transit. My date, Alice, was the president of our sister sorority. She and I had had several dates, liked one another and was a sort of an on again/off again basis. We had fixed up Monster with Alice's roommate, Felicia; Tush brought his current girlfriend, Kate. When I say that the women went all out, I was not making small talk. Kate had a long red dress with a slit that went way up the side; Felicia, wore the proverbial little black dress that was provocatively short; and my date, Alice, had a long teal dress with a plunging neckline. I have to admit that I have always been a boob man and could keep my eyes off her chest, but especially because this dress was intended to be worn without a bra. Finally, we get to Ramona, who wore a strapless black dress. Her ample boobs were even more accentuated by a strapless bullet bra that gave those puppies points that I still think were reminiscent of an early 1950s Buick front end except that they weren't chromed.

At the formal we had a couple of speeches by the frat president, a second from the faculty advisor, and a keynote speech by a guy from the fraternity's central office. Then we sat down to a buffet dinner which was followed by dancing with music furnished by a decent band. The locale was the ballroom at the conference center on campus which made it convenient for the drinkers in the crowd who could just walk about a quarter mile back to the frat house rather than drive while intoxicated.

The conference center also had a very nice bistro but it was closed that evening because of the private party. The bistro had several tables and comfortable chairs, but also six high back banquettes along the back wall. The lights were out and Alice thought it would be a great place for us to find some private space. Each couple could have their own banquette and it was a place for us to engage in our amorous activities.

While I cannot attest to the success that Tush and Monster were having at the outset, it wasn't long before I had my hands on Alice's boobs given that access was eased by the lack of a bra. We were kissing and I was getting a great feel that was making me think that I could advance to lower parts of her anatomy when there came a distinct moan from one of the other banquettes. Judging from the direction that it was coming from, it had to be Maurice and Ramona. They were in the next section to ours and the acoustics were nearly perfect.

Alice and I stopped what we were doing in mid-action as we listened to the amorous goings-on. They apparently had no idea that we could hear them so well, but being in the midst of our own romantic activity made certain that we were totally quiet. . . well, let's just say sufficiently quiet to not give ourselves away even if Alice did let out with a couple of whisper-like "Mmm's". But I'm getting ahead of myself because Maurice and Ramona had become a bit like listening to a risqué story over the radio.

Alice and I could hear the faint sounds of kissing and at first assumed it was on the lips, but we were proved wrong when we heard Ramona say, "Just pull the dress and the bra down."

That was followed by more of the same sound but then Ramona added more moans and the visions of Maurice sucking on her nipples became very real in our minds' eyes.

"Oh, I love that."

"Your nipples are really hard."

"Don't stop with my boobs. Please keep going," we could hear her beg.

There was then a period of quiet, but that was punctuated by Maurice exclaiming, "You're wearing a garter belt! We've got to get that off before I can deal with your panties."

Alice and I both just about choked on that comment, but did all that we could to muffle the giggles. Now all the while, I was continuing to finger her and she was getting increasingly more wet by the minute.

Then came the response that we were not expecting from Ramona, "It's no problem, silly, my panties are crotchless!" That was too much information and I made a choking noise that I think everyone in the bistro could have heard, but there did not seem to be any reaction from Maurice and Ramona.

I leaned close to Alice's ear and said, "Now only if your panties were crotchless. Being a nice girl I assume that you don't even own any."

Alice stuck out her tongue and the comment also earned me a nasty look that I could discern even in the low light of the darkened bistro.

In the meantime, our friend Maurice had to have been making fast moves on Ramona because soon there were more of those "Mmmm" sounds.

"I wonder what they're doing now?" asked Alice as I continued to enjoy fingering her. She had to have liked it, too, because soon she had taken down my zipper and had her hand inside my pants in search of my manhood.

"I don't know, but it sounds like they are probably enjoying themselves," I replied and then added with a little laugh. "I know that I just enjoy being an audio voyeur."

But then very unexpectedly a male voice that was definitely Maurice's called out, "Hey, does anyone happen to have a spare rubber on them?"

"He has to be kidding!" exclaimed Alice. "He didn't come prepared?" Seconds later three guys and three women went into hysterics and not a minute later three condoms were thrown in the direction of the banquette where Maurice and Ramona were frolicking.

"Now, that is funny!" I said still bent over from laughing so hard. I was not alone as there were other guffaws emanating from my friends in other parts of the bistro. But then things quieted down and I thought that I could hear the faint sound of someone tearing open a condom package.

"What's happening?" asked Alice.

"I think someone is about to get laid," I said.

At that Alice hugged me around the neck and planted a big wet kiss on my lips. "It could have been us if you hadn't given away that rubber."

"Who said I gave away my only one?" I offered in reply that got me a huge smile and another wet kiss.

As Alice and I were having things get more steamy, we did hear a little more dialogue from next door, namely Ramona urging Maurice to hurry up. Apparently, he was taking her advice because the next sound was her saying "ugh" followed by what we thought was Maurice sighing followed with a very audible "ahhh."

"I'm getting hornier by the minute just listening to those two," said Alice removing my organ from my pants. Neither of us were surprised at how erect it was. Alice hiked up her dress, pulled off her pantyhose, and slid off her bikinis. I don't know about Monster and Tush, but I do know of two couples who were about to get laid this evening. I'd no sooner rolled the rubber down over my organ when Maurice and Ramona got noisy again.

There was a faint squishing sound that could only have been one thing—Maurice moving in and out of Ramona's very wet pussy. Then came Ramona's moaning: "Ohhh" that was followed by a "yes, yes!"

There was an old saying among guys about women who "moan for the bone and scream for the cream." It fit Ramona to a "T", too.

The dialogue was driving Alice crazy and in response she pushed me down so I was lying on my back the length of the banquette with my rubber sheathed organ standing straight up. Without further ado she assumed the top position and lowered her now wet pussy down on my organ. "Gosh, but she is always such a comfortable fuck," I thought as I penetrated her. While the rubber was one of the lubricated types, she was so wet that it didn't make any difference.

As we were getting it on, Ramona said aloud without the least amount of reservation, "You're cumming and it feels great. Yes! Yes! Oh, more. Please!"

Not surprisingly Maurice and Ramona got both a round of applause and some catcalls from the other three couples, Alice and me included.

In the midst of all this commotion, Alice was now thrusting my organ in and out and I could feel a huge orgasm building. Then I couldn't hold it in any longer and let go with a load of cum that satisfied her desires. "Oh, Wes, that's great! Mmmm! I want more." Apparently, the dialogue from Maurice and Ramona was enough for Alice to set aside her inhibitions and not care one iota about who heard us. Now we became the recipients of the applause and catcalls.

"Now look at what you've done!" I said to Alice.

Clearly she did not care and called out, "We just made second place, so are you guys getting laid tonight or just sitting around talking? Last couple to cum has to buy the next round of drinks!"

"Can I claim an exemption?" asked Tush. "Kate is on the rag."

"I'm sure Kate is about ready to kill Tush about now for saying that, but I'm not sure that any of us care either," said Alice.

That means that your roomie, Felicia, and Monster will be the last to cum and have to buy a round of drinks."

"I don't want to tell tales, but I think Felicia will be happy just to get laid," explained Alice. "She's a great roommate, but just never passes up a chance to have sex."

Some 20 minutes later everyone had their clothes back on, well at least most of their clothes as Alice had her pantyhose and bikinis stuffed into her purse. We all headed to the bar where Monster and Felicia had to buy a round of drinks for the group.

The bartender took our orders and minutes later was back with the drinks. I raised my glass and toasted the fraternity, but then Alice toasted Felicia and Monster who were paying for the drinks. So long we were into toasting, Ramona toasted Kate and wished her a cramp-free period while I decided that this whole crazy and humorous evening was probably owed to Ramona.

"To Ramona the Moaner," I said holding my drink up and then draining my glass.

"Hear, hear!" chorused the reply. Ramona's face turned crimson, but you know what? The nickname stuck!

Light Up For The Holidays byIJS0904©

 

 

 

 

I hope you enjoy my submission to the 2020 Winter Holidays Contest.

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Being a good neighbor

I am a flexible guy when it comes to my own hard and fast rules. I have very few of them simply because I have learned that rules seldom apply all the time. I do have a few that are significant to this story. Be a good neighbor and decorate for Christmas.

The 'being a good neighbor' rule makes sense for anyone. Decorating for Christmas might seem a bit strange since I am a male of thirty-five years, and single. Growing up we always decorated. Dad, mom, and I would spend days decorating and hanging lights. To this day I love watching everything light up when the work is done.

My parents now live in a retirement village eight hundred miles away. Their distance does not change my love for Christmas decorating. I own a two-bedroom home that is perfectly sized for me. I bought the house thinking that I could always sell and get a larger home when I met the right woman. So far, Mrs. Right has been crushed under Ms. Wrong's spiked heels.

You would think that a little lighting would go a long way because I own a relatively small home. You would be incorrect. I have thousands of lights of all shapes, types, and chord lengths. You could say I am a bit obsessive. Honestly, I say I am obsessive. It is a harmless obsession and I have never felt the need for professional help in resolving it.

I start decorating immediately after Thanksgiving. I take down my decorations no later than the end of January. I am not a fan of wire tumbleweeds that require a puzzle genius to untangle, only to find the string will not light. So, I will spend evenings for a week after I take everything down reorganizing, labeling, and storing for the next year.

The house next door is a mirror image of mine. It had been emptied for months with a bent over 'For Sale' sign barely peaking above the unmown grass. I came home from work the second week of November to discover the grass had been mown, the sign was standing straight, and a 'SOLD' sticker artfully angled across the sign.

I pulled onto my driveway after work a week later just in time to see a moving van pull away from the house.

I gave them the day to get settled before I dropped by. The next day I was carrying my homemade spaghetti, garlic bread, and two bottles of wine when I knocked on the door. I hoped my new neighbors were nice people and we could break bread and share some wine. Worse case I would drop off everything and come back for the dishes later.

The woman that answered the door was a vision in beauty. Standing next to her was her near twin. I had double visions!

"Hey, uhm High, uhm I'm, I am John Burton, your next-door neighbor." I pointed at my house. Their house was the last one on the street and the pointing may have been a bit redundant. Sue me. I was having some difficulty concentrating.

"Food, here. I brought food. And wine. I brought food and wine. For you. Welcome to the neighborhood!"

Both women gave me a primer on their facial expressions. The first was mild curiosity, the second was mild confusion, the third was sympathy for the mentally impaired, and the last was humorous acceptance. Their smiles nearly matched and both made me feel like a sixth-grade schoolboy after his first real kiss.

I was shocked that they invited me in considering my less than suave introduction. The vision that had answered the door was openly grinning, "Well, John Burton why don't you follow me to the kitchen, and we will tell you who we are."

Thankfully, the walk to the kitchen did not require much in the way of neurons. They led the way and I followed. I could not help but notice that their butts swayed in time as they walked. They were without doubt exquisite butts. The legs attached to said butts were equally as nice. I wondered if they were twins.

Both their heads turned toward me.

Shit, busted staring at their asses. I just went from nice neighbor to neighborhood perv. They both smirked because they caught me looking. I nervously set everything on the kitchen table.

The lady reached out to shake my hand, "John Burton it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Denise Lang, and this is my daughter Lacy. Please have a seat while we set the table."

"Did you say your daughter?"

"Yes, can you not see the resemblance."

I might have turned a shade redder, but I doubted if one existed, "Of course."

I never stop talking when my foot is only partially in my mouth, "I thought you might be twins."

"Oooh, Lacy we have a flatterer on our hands."

"Speak for yourself mom. I think he just said I was old."

Redder did exist, "Can I have a mulligan? I will go back outside, you can pretend I haven't been here, and I will try knocking again."

Lacy snickered, "Do you really think you can do better?"

I pondered for a moment, "Nope. I blew my chance unless you both get selective amnesia."

Denise chimed in, "We saw that you noticed we are women. I am also sure you are aware that you are a man. When in history has any woman ever had amnesia regarding anything embarrassing that a man said?"

"Point taken. Shall I crawl out the front door and slither my way home?"


Denise smiled, "No, of course not."

Lacy added, "We are used to men saying silly things. Eat first, slither later."

I opened the wine without breaking the cork or the bottle. No mean feat considering my conduct so far. We settled at the table and began to eat.

"How long have you lived next door John Burton?"

"Please call me John. Our conversations are going to be unnecessarily redundant if you insist on using my first and last name.

Lacy just had to ask, "What is your middle name?"

"You just had to ask, didn't you? My middle name is Randolph Eugene. Yes, I have two middle names. Yes, I will hate you if you insist on using them.

"I have lived next door for three years. I transferred here a year before that. I rented until I found the house I wanted.

"I know how long you two have lived in this house. I am observant that way. Where did you move from?"

Denise took over, "Well John Randolph Eugene Burton.."


"You just had to do it didn't you?"

She snickered, "John, Lacy is going to college here and transferred to my company's local branch so we could stay together."

"Mr. Lang?"

The smile left her face, "Mr. Lang and I were married young, our parents insisted. I was sixteen and pregnant. He was eighteen and an asshole. He remained an asshole until I divorced his cheating, lying, abusive ass six months ago."

"So, conjugal visits are out of the question?"

I finally managed to get them laughing.

" On a more serious note, if you need anything fixed around the house, I will be glad to help. I need a list though. I cannot put my finger on why, but my brain does not want to function very well when I am in this house. Probably fumes or something. Maybe a cat hair allergy left over from the previous owners."

The blush I saw on their faces boosted my ego to untold heights.

Lacy smirked, "I suspect the brain problem is gender related."

Ah, there's that ego. I was looking up when I should have been looking down.

"Denise, have you ever abused Lacy?"

"Oh my god no!"

"Maybe you should consider it."

Denise laughed as she looked at her daughter, "Lacy I think he has your number."

Lacy looked at me, "If you don't have it, I would be glad to give it to you."

I think I blushed a little. Honestly, I blushed a lot, "I will write my number down for both of you. If you need anything call or come over."

I wanted them to get to know me before sharing things like phone numbers. If they called me, I would know that they thought I was OK. I very much wanted to be OK. I wanted to be more than OK, but OK would do for now.

"There is something you should know about me. I decorate for Christmas. I really decorate for Christmas."

"Mom, he's gay."

"That is a mean stereotype young lady. Plus, you saw for yourself that he is definitely hetero."

"Oh, Sorry mom. The gay thing was wrong, an easy one, but wrong. He's probably just mentally disabled."

I raised my hand, "Still here. Haven't left. I am not sure what that says about my intelligence, but I am not disabled.

"Anyway, before Miss Turing test interrupted with her evaluation, I was going to ask you about decorating.

"Do you decorate? If so, do you need decorations? Would you like help putting them up? Can you make Lacy stand in the corner or something?"

"Yes. Yes. Yes. No, and it wouldn't stop her from talking anyway."

"He wasn't trying to shut me up mom. He wanted another look at my ass."

They were both watching intently as my face adopted the red coloration that seemed to be the norm for me in this house.

I know when I am beat. I just wish I had known it when I walked in the door. It would have saved me from some abuse. Time to redirect, "Do you have a writing pad and a pencil?"

Denise opened the ubiquitous kitchen junk drawer and pulled out one of each. I sketched our houses. I roughly outlined for them how I usually decorated my house and asked them how they wanted theirs decorated.

Denise was pensive, "This is kind of you, but we don't have the budget to do anything."

"You know when I said I really like to decorate? I have enough decorations to do both houses and still have plenty of spares."

"Told you mom. Ga.."


"Do not finish that sentence or John will have time to memorize your ass, your legs, and every hair on your head before you get out of that corner."

I wasn't thinking when I stood to make my point.

"Mom, definitely not 'G' word."

Denise followed her daughters gaze, as did I. We all observed my erection painfully bulging against my pants. Well, painfully for me.

They looked up at me and my face flared with a shade of red so bright that it had not been documented yet. I was concerned that their faces would burn from the brightness. I know mine felt like it was.

"OK, Well. Nice to meet ya. Welcome to the neighborhood, Bye."

I turned ready to dash for the front door.

They were both laughing. When Denise caught her breath, "Oh my god! John, sit down please. You are so much fun to fuck with.

"Please tell us you are enjoying this too."

"Of course, I am. Two beautiful and funny women were looking at my semi-erection. What's not to enjoy? No reason to be embarrassed. It's not like I just met you, or got caught staring at your asses, or something pervy like that."

They laughed some more. I couldn't help but think that it might be me they were laughing at. Nah.

I took my annual decorating vacation and started on both houses the next morning. I worked through the day without break in the hope that Denise and Lacy would see the finished product when they came home.

I was standing on the sidewalk waiting when they pulled up. They got out of their car and stood with their mouths hanging open. I was thrilled!

Denise was first to respond, "This is amazing!"

Lacy was thoughtful, "Who's Leon?"

Huh? I looked at my roof. Yep, it said 'LEON'. I forgot that I was standing on the back side of the roof when I put the letters up, "Famous beer buddy of the fourth king. You know, the one that got a CJWI and didn't get to the stables until the following Monday?"

Denise was skeptical, "CJWI?"

"Camel jockeying while intoxicated."

"Lacy, I think you may be on to something regarding the whole brain thing."

"Yuck it up ladies. Wait until it gets completely dark. Then you'll see something."

"Noel spelled correctly?"

"No, miss smarty pants.

"Wait, I mean yes.

"No, it's really both yes and no.

"Yes, it will be awesome!

"No, it won't be spelled right, at least not until tomorrow."

Lacy could not let it lie, "You should probably throw in a few maybes here and there."

I walked toward my house, "Whatever. You guys ready for some wine?"

They followed me in like they had lived there forever. I thought it was uncanny how they knew where the kitchen was. I almost mentioned it until the realization hit me, Duh, their house is the mirror image of mine.

They liked my cooking well enough last night so I figured I would give it another shot. We ate my two and a half alarm chili and drank some wine. I talked so they would have ammunition for their teasing.

Dishes cleaned and put away, we headed out front. I walked over to the garage and waited while the ladies went to stand on the street. I flipped the switches.

Silence

More Silence

Screaming and jumping! That's good. No one is running away. Even better! I moseyed over to them as a proud handyman will do, Noel notwithstanding, "Do you like it?"

They both jumped me. Well, they didn't jump me, they hugged me, but it felt like jumping. They sandwiched me, and it was wonderfully squishy. I really like their squishy parts. I was harder than 'naughty or nice' calculus in seconds.

They were both aware of my predicament. They started circle hugging me. Denise would hug my front, then swap places with Lacy. Before long, the hugging seemed to be centered at my groin. The hugging arms were being draped across my shoulders.

They couldn't really be that horny, could they? God, I hope so.

Eventually the hugging calmed (damn). We stood there for a while as they took in the details and after a bit Denis grabbed one hand, Lacy the other, and they pulled me toward their house.

"Wait! I need to get something from my house. I will be there in a second."

I ran to the house, grabbed the sack by the door, and trotted back. I walked in and Denise handed me a drink, "Thanks, I will drink this in a minute. First, I have yuletide gifts for you. You have to close your eyes and trust me."

Lacy looked skeptical, "Yeh, those words have never gotten me into trouble."

Some cajoling, attempted bribery, and begging later I got them to close their eyes and keep them closed. I removed the gifts and adorned each of us with them, "OK, Open your eyes!"

Each of them had circles made of garland suspended around their boobs. Hanging in the center of each circle was a piece of mistletoe. A garland belt around each waist held a piece of mistletoe hanging centered over the area I wanted to kiss the most.

I wore a similar belt. Except I had bigger mistletoe. A manlier piece of you will.

OK, I knew this could go sidewise in a hurry. My hope was that they would embrace the idea. I figured that the worst case would be to play it off as a lame joke. I was taking a huge chance that they might just get pissed off and kick my ass.

Lacy broke the silence, "Does this mean you want to kiss my nippies and my little pussy? Or does it mean you want mom and me to kiss each other's nippies and little pussies?"

"Can I have both?"

They looked at each other, then they looked at me

"Yes."

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